DeJa Vu...Why I do this

Had my first MVA (motor vehicle accident) response today.
I usually don't go on them, because I'm a fat old lady and running, jumping, wading, lifting, sweeping and carrying while weighing 40 lbs of fire turnouts is better left to the young bucks. And I never started out to BE an EMT. Was just taking the Paramedic courses to make me a better midwife, you know.

But something today told me to go. So I listened...
Boy, was I glad I did! Got to the station. I don't get a key, cuz I'm still a pro-bee. The other firefighter meeting me at the door? A pro-bee, too. We wait about 90 seconds...and the chief shows up. WHEW.

Run to the back of the station to get my turnouts on. Mine went in the last available space...near the coffee pot. I keep one flap of my turnout pants over my right boot to protect it from stray coffee grounds.
RATS! Forgot to wear socks. Gonna be sorry by the time I get home in these steel-toed boots.
Get it all on fast as I can and do my best imitation of a jog back toward the front of the station. Firefighter in my way. Chief yellin' out the window of the rescue "JANEAN, MOVE IT!"

Dodge the firefighter, hurl myself in the back door. Wait...I'm the only one in here besides the driver and the chief. It's 11am on a Saturday morning. WHERE IS EVERYBODY?

As we take off out the bay, command calls for additional ambulances, put lifeflight on standby.
Whereupon, this fat old lady starts into fervent prayer as we scream down the center yellow line, lights and sirens. "Please, God, Please, God, Please, God. Make me capable. Please make me capable. I only want to help"!

Hop out the rescue. Highway is blocked. Passing on a blind corner is a bad thing. Especially for the poor couple heading the other direction who were just merrily going to visit family and now will spend the rest of the day if not the rest of the week in the hospital.
Command sends me to the most critically injured. Chief is there. I suddenly go blank. Standing on the shoulder of the road looking down into the ditch at the SUV I holler "CHIEF! Where do you want me?"

Well, he looks at me like I'm insane. But directs me to go around the rig, get in the back seat and hold C-spine on the driver. So here I am, dressed like a yellow pillsbury dough boy, jumping down into the ditch, wading across the ditch and squeezing in the back passengers door.
OH Praise the LORD, they had the middle seat laid down! That makes it much easier.

"Hello, Sir. My name is Janean and I'm with Podunk Rescue. Gonna hold on to your head here. Can you tell me where it hurts?"
He's worried about his lady. He's worried about his dogs. He's worried about his car. He's worried about his sister. He can't find his cell phone to call her. It was on his hip...that just happened to be the point of impact.
So I promise him I will try to find it AFTER we get him out.

Which takes thirty minutes, several firefighters and a few pieces of heavy equipment.

But we got him out. And up the bank. And into the ambulance. I wish I would have put oxygen on him. I wish I would have thought to lay his seat back sooner. I wish I'd have at least put a pulse oximeter on his finger. But I couldn't let go of his head. And no one else seemed inclined to do so.
And he was talking to me. We were about the same age. Found out where he lived. Thanked him for having the back seats down. He laughed and said he'd make sure and arrange for that next time.

Then we agreed there better NOT be a next time.

As they were loading him into Big City Ambulance one, I found the three pieces of his cell phone under his mangled twisted drivers door. Managed to hold them together long enough to call his family and tell them he was going to the Big, Big city Hospital.
Then found his lady's parents rushing through the crowd and gave them his muddy little chunked up phone.

Stood there for a minute beside the rescue. Put away the equipment. Now what? I should be doing something to help. Chief suggests I grab a broom. So I do. Sweepin up the pieces of plastic, glass, CD's, papers, metal...

I think they will all be fine. Chief says I did good for my first time. I don't think I did. I could have done more. Should have done more. Maybe just wish I could have done more...

But I sure was sweatin' by the time I got back to the station. Think I lost about 10 lbs of water weight today.

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DeJa Vu...
My mom calls.
She just called this morning! What's up? I haven't talked to her in two weeks.

My uncle was in a head on accident this morning. Truck crossed the center line into his lane. His airbag deployed.
Mom was telling me about his injuries and I got the goose bumps.

The exact same time this morning I was holding the head of an injured man as the result of a head on accident...
Another volunteer rescuer in a city fifty miles away was holding the head of my uncle...
Both men have the exact same injuries. Both men survived because of their airbags. Both men were rescued and comforted by volunteer EMT's who went when they much rather would have stayed home.

To the Rescuer who held my uncles' head... You Rock, Brother!

Pay it forward...

"Come ye apart"

I am finding myself stressed out.

I catch myself gritting my teeth with my eyebrows merging with my hairline...
FOR NO REASON.

Yah, I'm broke.
Yah, I have five hernias in my belly and have to hold my insides inside when I cough.
Yah, I'm starting a huge class load in a week and haven't gotten my books yet.
Yah, I'm missin' LB like crazy.
Yah, I've gained 40 lbs and am feeling an incredible desperation about that.
Yah, we have four mommy's due in the next three weeks.
Yah, I am feeling an increasing sense of frustration that I may never become the midwife I want to be.

But that's all standard stuff.
So what?! Big Fat Hairy Deal.
That is all stuff that is going on every day...all day.
So why is it getting to me now?
And as I sat in church this morning, I started thinking to myself, WHY in the world aren't I letting God handle all this? Am I that dense that I have to keep learning the lesson over and over ? Why do I always turn to Him last?

So here I'm going to tell you a funny story. And it's not that I think blondes are REALLY dumb...I know many blondes who are smarter than this salt and pepper brunette. But sometimes I definitely fit the cliche of the ding-ding stereotypical blonde.

When I was pregnant with number four, a friend and her husband decided I needed a retreat. Women's retreat. Held at a gorgeous conference center back in the woods. No TV, no Radio, Good food, quiet time, walks in the forest, women friends, prayer and worship.
Friends' Husband agreed to stay with kiddos during the day until my ex could get home from work. He took my kids to the carousel, the park, the spaghetti factory for lunch. In short he spoiled them rotten.
I was gone for four days and three nights.
And was blessed beyond what I could have ever expected or imagined. I can tell you about those blessings later.

The conference center had a little gift shop. I happened to make it in there one of the few times it was open. I was SO enjoying my time alone and was supremely happy not to hear the word "Mommy" one single time in three days. I wanted a souvenir.

Saw a magnet. Nothing spectacular. Rectangle piece of wood...cedar colored. With a verse burned into it. Seven years ago I bought it and I still have it on my fridge today.

Now I've read/listened to the Bible being read since I was born. Everyone interprets different passages different ways according to their education and life experiences. At that time in my life I felt like I had no direction, no purpose and wasn't doing a particularly hot job at managing my life. So when I read this, it had a MUCH APPRECIATED meaning...

"Come ye apart and rest awhile". Mark 6:31

(other translations... "Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest."(NIV); "Come off by yourselves; let's take a break and get a little rest."(The Message); “Come aside by yourselves to a deserted place and rest a while.”(New King James)

In my twisted little escapist brain, what I saw was ... "Come ye apart" as in lose control; freak out, fall apart, break down. And then "rest awhile".

I wondered how God could have known back in the gospel of Mark that I would feel like my life was falling apart and that He would have Mark write that in the Bible so I would know that it was OK to have a nervous breakdown.

NOW I know that what he meant was "Separate yourselves". But at the time I couldn't understand WHY everyone didn't find the verse on the magnet as entertaining as I did!

But you know what? I still keep that meaning separate unto myself. Whenever I see that verse, I think to myself, "Self, God doesn't WANT you to have it all together. You'd only forget where you put it anyway. He wants you to rest in Him when you feel like you are going to 'come apart'!"

I should listen to myself more often.

Small joys

I am so glad that my God allows me to see the little joys inside the big pain. Otherwise, I'd be in a world of hurt right now.
A precious friend taught me the concept of asking Christ to bind thoughts that cause pain or distress. WOW, have I used the dickens out of that blessing in the last three weeks.

Before my surgery, I spoke to my mother. She hasn't forgiven MG for hurting me. In fact, she does not say his name...she refers to him as Bu**head. She wanted to come be with me for the surgery. But I told her that he would be here watching the kids. I told her that he had expressed repentance and asked for forgiveness then asked her to pray about being able to "work with him" for the one day of my procedure so I could have her and the assurance that the kids were safe and cared for.
The next day she called me first thing in the morning and said "Well, I prayed about it and I don't feel that God wants me there as long as you choose to have anything to do with Bu**head."
That hurt on two levels. First, that I was not important enough for her to set aside any challenges she had. Secondly, that she blamed it on my God. She cannot forgive him for "hurting her daughter", yet she hurts me over and over again, usually without regret. Just today, she called to see how I was. Started out with "So, is Bu**head still there?" and ended up telling me how I had ruined my children because I never follow through with what I say I will do. Then, "I love you, honey. Try to rest." click.
There are lots of reasons why I continue the relationship with her. She is on lots of medications and is in constant pain. I realize that sometimes she doesn't even know what she is doing.
And I also realized this morning that I am GLAD she was not here for my operation. I'm glad she has chosen to stay away while MG is caring for me and the kids and I actually dread the day he goes home because it means that I will have to deal with her. She stresses me out, runs me down and makes me feel as if I need to care for HER when I am desperately in need of care for myself. It's a small joy...

I have been having such a hard time with my wound. It is open. About 10 - 12 inches stretching down from my belly button (sort of...he sewed part of it closed) and the top two inches and bottom three inches are open. Deep, oozing....OK, OK...I'm grossing myself out. Everytime I shower, I look at in and cry. I am having a hard enough time trying to rebuild my self esteem after the realization that I am not enough to keep anybody happy. No matter how hard I try or how much I love someone, I am not enough. How do I attract someone new with grey hair, glasses, scars, bat-wings and a belly-flap that is now decorated with a gash the size of Missouri? Why do I WANT to attract someone new? What am I THINKING??!!?
So my Bible study this morning was Romans 8:35-39. "What can separate us from the Love of God?" And it just spoke to my heart..."GOD LOVES YOU NO MATTER WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE!" Nothing can make Him shrink away and say "Gross!!" I'm resting in that for right now. Another small joy...

MG is not mine. I am not number one in his life any longer. He cares for me and we are the greatest of friends...even closer now than when we had a "relationship". But he talks about wanting to go home. He talks about plans that don't involve me. He feels the need to check his email about 23 times a day and he has phone conversations with someone using his "sweet voice". And every once in awhile, jealousy pinches my heart. I cry "Bind that thought, Lord Jesus!" And He does. Giving me peace. But as much as I appreciate MG being here and I don't know how I am going to manage after Monday...I kinda am looking forward to him going home so I won't have that "in your face" pain several times a day. A small joy that soon, I will be able to move forward and stop living in the past.

A small joy that a general surgeon was there in the operating suites between cases just when the OB/GYN doing my surgery got into trouble and was desperately trying to save my life.

A small joy that when the wound opened in the parking lot of the hospital and blood was running through my fingers as I held my belly, I staggered into the emergency room, said HELP ME and my pastor was there waiting with someone else.

A small joy that my church family brought us dinner for six days and another friend is bringing pizza tonight.

A small joy that as I lay in my bed hour after hour, my children come and sit with me. They share their days, we sing, we do homework and sometimes we just watch TV together snuggled together.

A small joy that my college professors have agreed to work with me so I don't have to drop out of this semester and lose my grant.

A small joy that my aunt was able to spend time with me when I was in the hospital and she brought me flowers, lotions, magazines and a CD player with some CD's. I am still using it and it really helps me relax.

A small joy that I have pain medication.

A great joy that I have friends like you who lift me up in prayer. I need that the most.

Realize a blessing

My momma.
Sometimes she drives me insane. Sometimes she hurts my feelings without meaning to. She has announced several times to all attending that I am a terrible mother.

But I love her with all my heart. She has health problems and she doesn't mean what she says. She is my best friend and the person I want when I get scared.

So I called her today to tell her how the Ultrasound went. Of course, the technician can't tell you anything so I have to wait till Tuesday to find out anything. Although I am relatively calm, I have my moments.
We talked and prayed together. She made me promise to read Psalm 142. Because it looked "happy". And I said "yes, Mom."
Knowing I probably wouldn't have time.

But I found the time just after the girls went to bed. And next to that chapter in my Women's Devotional Bible 2 (you know, the pink one) there was this poem and my heart just got SO blessed!! I had to sit down and share it with you.

Realize

By Ann Weems

If I could, I'd write for you a rainbow

And splash it with all the colors of God

And hang it in the window of your being

So that each new God's morning

Your eyes would open first to Hope and Promise.

If I could, I'd wipe away your tears

And hold you close forever in Shalom.

But God never promised

I could write a rainbow,

Never promised I could suffer for you,

Only promised I could love you.

That I do.

WOW!

THANK YOU, Shiera!

Shiera drew my name for the Autumn Goody Swap. Let me tell you what...I was SO EXCITED to get a box from Japan! My kids were FREAKING OUT!

She sent me so many awesome treats. Chocolate covered Rice, soybeans, banana chips, corn, pretzel sticks (called Pocky) and just plain dark and milk chocolate. There was a bag of snacks that were good, but I haven't identified what they are...because the labeling is all in Japanese. They look like nuts. AND a gorgeous calendar for 2008.

It just so happens that my childrens' school is studying Japan this month. I took the calendar in to share. And pointed out on the map where the package had come from. AND pointed out how LUCKY I am that there are wonderful ladies in the world who would take the time to share with others. Even when it costs so much to send a box halfway around the world. They were pretty darn impressed, let me tell you what!

And I was impressed, as well. THANK YOU, Shiera from the bottom of my heart. You ROCK. My kids think you are da' bomb and the local Elementary school thinks you are pretty special, too.

P.S. Stop by and say hi at her blog, Idle Moments. The link is above - her name, first line.

SMILES!

Donetta is at it again!
She says I am someone "who lives the life that is effected by the worst of humanity and lives it with grace."

Well, I just don't know what to say.
Probably because I am crying too hard! WHERE'S MY TISSUES!?!

This award she has blessed me with has special meaning...
"Mathetes is the Greek word for disciple, and the role of the disciple (per the Great Commission) is to make more disciples. I'd like to take the opportunity to award five other bloggers with this award and badge for acting in the role of a disciple of Christ. These five all share the message in their own creative ways, and I admire them all for what they do.

In the spirit of this award, the rules are simple. Winners of this award must pick five other "disciples" to pass it on to. As you pass it on, I just ask that you mention and provide links for (1)this post as the originator of the award, Dan King of "Management by God", (2) the person that awarded it to you (See ABOVE), and then (3) name and sites of the five that you believe are fulfilling the role of a disciple of Christ. If you know of other deserving recipients of this award, and would like to start a new string, then please post a link to where you've started in in the comments to this post. I would love for many deserving bloggers to be blessed with this recognition."

1) Lizzie at a Dusty Frame!
2) Connie at This Little Blog.
3) Susan and Janice at 5 Minutes for Mom.
4) 7QTPies!
and 5) MotoMom!

You inspire me! God bless yer socks off.

Cussing?

Number 2 isn't usually that funny. Because of the way her life has been, she just wants to be in the background. Today I was working as a volunteer at their school and I delivered a message to her teacher. It was for another student and I was just in-and-out.
After school, she said "Mom, I saw you! Then everyone in my class turned and STARED at ME!" And she starts to cry.
Poor baby! It's not fair!

But we put up a dry-erase board at our house about a month ago. The rule is ONLY kind notes to each other. Mom writes the daily schedule and after-school plans in one corner. Then we usually have a verse or a positive saying across the top.

Well, today she decided to write one in. Cuz I was falling down on the job and the space was blank, you know.

So here it is, Ladies and Gentleman....
First Thessalonians 5 : 17 as paraphrased by #2.

" Pray without cusing"

Well, it's good advice anyway. And I didn't have the heart to erase it.

Although, I must admit when I discovered what her father had done to her...
I cussed while I was praying.

And many times thereafter. Especially when she cries because her classmates looked at her.
AND it was my fault that they looked at her.
And I was just trying to help.

I'd really like to go kick him in the B...SHins right about now!

Pray without cussing, Mommy.
And pray without CEASING, as well.

Impatient Child

Went to my second birthing last night. I was the assistant this time.

I think I'm a jinx or something. Both births I have gone to have not gone well.

Number one was a Csection after 30 hours of labor and last night, she just wasn't ready. We hung out for about 18 hours with only one cm of progression and then gave her permission to stop. She was trying so hard to go into labor but it wasn't time.

It was a great learning experience though! The midwife had to sleep for a few hours so she left me to monitor. WOW!

I used the Doppler to find the fetal hearttones and took vitals. It felt good to be trusted like that.

And SCARY, too.

And exhausting.

And I'm wishing I hadn't partaken of the 2am Taco Bell run - I think it's STILL sitting like a rock in my stomach.

Oh well. Hopefully when this mom seriously takes off, I'll be there. And finally get to assist at a birth.

Things are going well. My two classes are winding up. One finished, the other I have one lesson and the final. Had to do a research paper on Chlamydia of all things. YAK.

But I got an A on it. So that's good.

MG and I towed the little red car home. I put her up on Craigs List as is and she was sold for a few hundred within 24 hours to someone who collects SHO's. I was glad someone got her who could afford to fix her and take care of her.

Kinda lame to get sappy over a car.

I must have PMS cuz I'm sappy over just about everything anymore.

School starts in two weeks. We've started a "clean room" project and so far it seems to be working fairly well.

Told them they could have a mouse in a Habitrail if they kept the room clean for 30 days.

We are on day 10 and so far so good.

Everybody is healthy. Still waiting on word from the Degree Completion Program to see if I will be able to go to school full time or if I have to go back to work.

You know, as much as I WANT to go move forward with this path, my kids come first.

So whatever my God wants is fine with me. If I have to work and go part time, if I have to work and wait on my dream or if I can go for it now...it is up to Him.

So I wait. I must admit I am impatient sometimes. Just yesterday morning I found myself crying in prayer saying "I don't CARE what You choose, Father! You know the desires of my heart! Just please, PLEASE let me know. I am so tired of being patient." I'm such a Type-A personality; I hate not knowing, being unsecure and up-in-the-air. Arrgh! But God knows.

I know He knows, cuz I told Him. What a bratty child I am. :D

I think I need some coffee...

Thanks for the kind comments, my friends. It touches my heart to know that even when I don't write often right now, you are still there.

I also want to say thanks to Donetta
for this sweet gift. I am humbled and honored. You bless my heart!

We are under attack! In-coooommmming.......

WHAT IS UP?
Are the planets all in alignment or is it just a curse on my blog-roll? I've noticed that when God is working, Satan hates it and tries every way he can to break up the "bond" between a daughter and her Father.
Seems like alot my "blogger buddies" are needing prayer! Would you join me in lifting them up?

Pretty please with whipped cream and a cherry on top?

Antique Mommy is recovering from surgery.
BigMama has been having challenges at work.
Chaotic Mom is moving and she hasn't posted in almost a month. So, naturally, I worry.
Janice is trying to manage a fragile pregnancy.
Christina is due to have a baby any time!
Connie has been ill for about a month and could really use some rest and energy.
BooMama is having a "Hair issue"...and bein's as how she gets about a bizillion comments a day, you can tell that everyone here in Blogworld looks up to her. So she's got this "Image" to uphold, you know how it is.
Heather has a knee injury that is really making her life difficult.
"Especially" Heather needs encouragement as she deals with her daughters' challenges.
Please continue to remember Kelli as she waits on kidney dialisys for a transplant.
One of my heroes, Heth who is pregnant with her 7th and her ENTIRE family has the stomach bug. Oh. My. Goodness. She's coming close to sainthood!
And Laurel, who is battling an infection in her jaw.

It all just makes me count my blessings, you know?

If I missed you, let me know and I will add you to the list. Like that many people read my blog. But every prayer helps...

"When two or more gather in My name, there am I in the midst of them..." He says! And I definitely take Him at His Word!

God bless, ya'll!!

Donate Life

Melanie wrote this great post on her blog at "This Ain't New York".
I didn't realize it was National Organ Donor Day until I stopped by Kelli's blog...
and she should know!

She's waiting for a kidney.

Be brave, Kelli, and as my wonderful gram used to say...

"Keep looking up!"

God's looking back down, you know! and He's got it all under control.

I promise.

Kelli Day! ** UPDATE **

Hey, Friends! DONATION DAY!
PLEASE, PLEASE Go check out BooMama's page today. She's trying to help a fellow blogger who's life is in danger from kidney failure. Minimum donation is only $1.50...That's less than a Latte'!!
My original post about that is HERE. Even if you can't donate, please add Kelli to your prayer list.
God bless...

**UPDATE ~ WOW, you aren't going to BELIEVE this! Check out the total raised at BooMama's! INCREDIBLE! AWESOME! GOD bless Kelli!

We're thinking of you, Kelli...

It's amazing, sometimes, you know...how God uses others to make you count your blessings.
I was just going down my Fav's list, checking in with my friends who don't know me from Adam, and ran across this post about Kelli written by BooMama.
It seems that Kelli needs a kidney transplant desperately. She and I are about the same age and it just hit me upside my head - I have SO MUCH to be grateful for. Not the least of which is the fact that I have become involved with a wonderful group of Bloggers who support eachother in prayer...and any other way they can.
BooMama has organized fundraising efforts to help Kelli and has inspired others to, as well.
If you find your blog needs new "dressin' up", Susie will donate a percentage of her webdesign orders between now and the 21st to Kelli's astronomical medical bills. So direct the business her way, friends!
Sometimes, to me at least, it seems "frustrating" when "all" we can do is pray. But I know for a fact that God can do miracles. So please join me in lifting Kelli up every time she crosses your thoughts. Like now...

Safe Haven

**NOTE - If you are pregnant or have a newborn and are needing HELP, skip down to the BOLD PURPLE LINES. And thank you from the bottom of my heart for coming to read my plea**

How can one be thankful and appalled at the same time? When this happens!Newborn Found on Nursing Home Steps.

At least this tiny life was spared! Now, this is an issue that is near and dear to my heart. It used to tear me apart (and STILL does!) to hear of a baby left to die on the beach or in a dumpster or in a box at a construction sight when my husband and I...and SO MANY OTHER people on this earth are (were) struggling with infertility. Now I have four children - and it still breaks my heart.
That's why I was OVERJOYED when my state passed the Safe Haven Law. When I heard it on the news, I called and called and called until I got the office of the state representative that sponsored the bill. I said "I WANT TO HELP! What can I do to get the word out about this?" After all it doesn't do any good to have the law if no one (especially the teenage girls who usually DO this) haven't heard about it!
Basically, what I was told is that there is no funding for advertising. If I were willing and able to solicit donations (e.g. fliers, billboard space, graphics design, etc) then that would help. But other than that, nada.
I couldn't...and I didn't.

This morning, as I awoke, the issue was brought afresh to my mind with the above linked news story. And I thought - "HEY! Some people read my blog. It might trigger a hit on a search engine for some girl/woman who is looking for information! This is a little something I can do!"

SO HERE'S MY SALES PITCH FOR THE LIFE OF A NEWBORN BABY!
If you are pregnant and don't want anyone to know...

If you think you can give birth, run away and no one will know...

If you think someone will find your baby in that garbage can or that lonely beach before he or she dies of exposure...

PLEASE RECONSIDER. GIVE THAT LITTLE LIFE A FIGHTING CHANCE! THERE IS A LAW THAT WILL LET YOU GIVE YOUR BABY TO SOMEONE RESPONSIBLE WITHOUT YOU GETTING INTO TROUBLE OR HAVING TO GIVE YOUR NAME.

The trick is, you have to take it to the right place! Like...

The Hospital.

The ambulance office.

The police station.

The fire station.

OR CONTACT ME! If you live in Oregon or Southwest Washington State, I'll come get that little one and make sure he or she is taken care of.

You can reach me at babykatcher207@yahoo.com.

Just PLEASE, PLEASE, don't leave that baby to die! I know you are scared and hurting, but it does not have to be the end of the world.

For more information on our Oregon Safe Haven program, goHERE.

OK, I'll get off my soapbox now.

They've been watching me...

Have heard this on the radio a few times and I can REALLY RELATE. Wanted to share the lyrics with you.

WATCHING YOU

by Rodney Atkins

Drivin’ through town just my boy and me

With a “Happy Meal” in his booster seat

Knowin’ that he couldn’t have the toy ‘til his nuggets were gone.

A green traffic light turned straight to red

I hit my brakes and mumbled under my breath.

His fries went a flyin’, and his orange drink covered his lap

Well, then my 4 year old said a 4 letter word

It started with “S” and I was concerned

So I said, “Son, now where’d you learn to talk like that?”

Chorus:

He said, I’ve been watching you, dad ain’t that kool?

I’m your buckaroo, I want to be like you.

And eat all my food and grow as tall as you are.

We got cowboy boots and camo pants

Yeah, we’re just alike, hey, ain’t we dad

I want to do everything you do.

So I’ve been watching you.

We got back home and I went to the barn

I bowed my head and I prayed real hard

Said, “Lord, please help me help my stupid self.”

Just this side of bedtime later that night

Turnin’ on my son’s Scooby-doo nightlight.

He crawled out of bed and he got down on his knees.

He closed his little eyes, folded his little hands

Spoke to God like he was talkin’ to a friend.

And I said, “Son, now where’d you learn to pray like that?”

Chorus:

He said, I’ve been watching you, dad ain’t that kool?

I’m your buckaroo; I want to be like you.

And eat all my food and grow as tall as you are.

We like fixin’ things and holding moma’s hand

Yeah, we’re just alike, hey, ain’t we dad.

I want to do everything you do;

so I’ve been watching you.

With tears in my eyes I wrapped him in a hug.

Said, “My little bear is growin’ up.”

And he said, “But when I’m big I’ll still know what to do.”

Chorus:

‘cause I’ve been watching you, dad ain’t that kool?

I’m your buckaroo; I want to be like you.

And eat all my food and grow as tall as you are.

By then I’ll be strong as superman

We’ll be just alike, hey, won’t we dad

When I can do everything you do.

‘cause I’ve been watchin’ you.

Ummmm...WOW. Ouch.

Father God, PLEASE help me!

Song to Share

While reading through my "blogfriends" today, I discovered a post on Midlife Moments that I had to share with you all! Wonderful praise music...gave me Holy-Spirit bumps. I'd never heard it before...but then I haven't been listening to Contemporary Christian music lately. I tend to go through phases and I've been on a Country kick lately. But it sounds like I'm missing something if I missed this. Hope it loads for you!
God bless and have a wonderful weekend.

http://www.midlifemoments.com/soak-it-in-saturday/

Prayer for Canon's Family

We all, as mothers, pray fervently that our children will be safe. We would give our lives for our children. I know when my #2 was so ill at birth, I would get on my knees beside the hotel bed and BEG God to take me instead of her. But the reality is that that is not the way it works. God can do anything, it's true, but we live in a world that isn't fair and isn't kind. And sometimes He allows things to happen so that negative experience can be used for good. We don't know WHAT good...and when we are hurting, sometimes it's hard to see that. We just want the pain to STOP.

Father, A friend is hurting today. A fellow Mommy had to turn her little boy over to Your arms and it hurts. But we trust You...we know that You have sent the Comforter to be with us when life's burdens are too much. I join my voice with others, My Father, today to ask that you would hold that family in the palm of Your hand. Please make Your presence known in an extra special way!In the precious name of Your Son, Jesus;

I'm not gonna say "Amen"...because the prayer will continue. It's not done yet...

Our thoughts are with you, Canon's Mommy, Daddy and Family. Please know that you are not alone!