The Biggest Mess EVER - CHBM Contest

It's been awhile since I've had a chance to sit down and check out the Crazy Hip Blog Mamas. But I went over there today and GUESS WHAT!?!?

They are having a drawing! For an ORECK XL vacuum cleaner!
I used to use one of these things many moon ago when I was a motel maid and they ROCK! I've always wanted one so thought I would throw my hat in the ring.
The deal is...you need to write about the biggest mess you ever had to clean up, link to CHBM's and to Oreck's site.

I thought I'd already written about this horror, but when I searched my blogs, I couldn't find any posts with the words "yogurt" or "hay" or "triple antibiotic".

Got your curiosity up now, don't I?

Picture this in your mind...I'm 7 months pregnant with a 3 year old, a 4 year old and an 8 year old.
The eight year old has a program. So I ask the husband-type-person (HTP) if he will watch the two little ones for an hour while I take the boy to his school presentation. Cuz' chasin' them lil' girls around the grade school gym in my condition does not appear under "FUN" in the dictionary, ya' know.

And he agrees.
So I go.
And then I come home.

And then I stand in the dining room and SCREAM. Bloody murder.
Whereupon he comes out of his shop in the garage and says "I was watching them, I swear!! I was only out there for about five minutes!!"

I know he is lying because there is no way two teeny girls could have made such a huge mess in five minutes...or fifteen minutes...or 30 minutes, for that matter.

The huge horrific drift is in layers in the middle of the light grey living room carpet. I will, for your enjoyment, list these layers from bottom to top. It's kind of like a giant ice-cream sundae...only one I have to CLEAN UP around a huge pregnant belly.
And I'm really happy about that, you know.

Bottom layer - six VERY LARGE stuffed toys (3-4 feet tall) that had to be hauled down a flight of stairs from their bedroom. Three of which are white. This will be important here in a minute.

Second layer - some miscellaneous clothing out of the dirty clothes hamper.

Third layer - Hay from a decorative scarecrow I kept in the entry. Yep, he's empty now.

Fourth layer - the entire contents of a tube of triple antibiotic ointment. And apparently that wasn't enough goo, because the fifth layer is...

TWO CONTAINERS OF NEON PINK AND PURPLE TRIX YOGURT.

Yes.

They had to get those out of the fridge, figure out how to open them and ended up squeezing the contents out through a hole in the foil top. As evidenced by the squished plastic containers garnishing the top of the pile like Marachino cherries.

Through gritted teeth, I just told everyone to "GO AWAY, PLEASE".

HTP took the little girls up to their room, then went to his room to watch TV. He probably figured he was safer if he wasn't on the same FLOOR of the house that I was.

The yogurt never did come out of the stuffed animals, but I did manage to get it out of the carpet.

I never thought...CHBM Carnival

OH MY GOODNESS!! I missed the CHBM Carnival this week! Horrible! I can't believe I did that!
I guess they are taking a break next week and CJ and Kelly need some new ideas for carnival subjects so help them out if you happen to stop by the site.

IN fact...you SHOULD stop by. It's gotten a beeeyootieful new dress-up!

The carnival topic for the week was "One thing you never thought you’d be “into” but really enjoy”.

The first time I ever went to a scrapbooking party, I was like "Yah! RIght! Like I have time for this!" But they asked us to bring 4 pictures related to the same subject, gave us a little background and WHAM there was a finished page. And it looked halfway decent.

That was the surprising part. Because even though I like to think of myself as artistic, I am type-A and I have the attention span of a squirrel. So I'll work on it for about 10 minutes and if it isn't perfect, SO WHAT!?! At least it's done.

So as a result, some of my scrapbook pages are lame. Some are really cool. None of them are "show case" or "gorgeous".

But it's something I enjoy. And it relaxes me.

Which, right now is a VERY good thing.

Neighbors - CHBM carnival

CHBM carnival today is on our Neighbors. I can not WAIT to read the stories!

I was sad back in December when one of my favorite neighbors moved away. She and her two little boys were close to us. Our kids played together, we did fireworks together on the fourth. It has been weird without them around.
My neighbors on the other side are an older couple. I like him because he hasn't sued me yet.
My kids went over and turned on his backyard faucet...it got left on so long, the city water company TRACKED HIM DOWN because of the huge water usage and thought they had a line break.

Yah. Can you imagine the bill?

Anyway, the city commisioners decided to cut him a break and didn't make him pay the entire bill. Which is good. Because if he would have had to cough up all that money, I'm sure he wouldn't have been as nice about it as he was.

The new neighbors that moved into my friends' old house are different. I have had to struggle with myself not to stereotype them. I'll just say it, they look like a couple that could be involved in D*ug activity. I help them out when I can (use the phone, ride into the big city). But I'm afraid to get to "friendly" - The times I gave them rides, they were headed into the courthouse.
Ummmm, yah. I don't want to be nosy, but I must remain slightly wary.

Then there is the man kitty-corner across the street. He and MG have become fishing buddies. He was caring for his mother and she passed away this week. They are related to my buddy T and her guy. So every once in awhile I get to see her when they come to visit over there. Since she moved out to the country, I don't get to see her often.
I'm sorry...is that a little confusing?

But I met T when she was my neighbor. And I have lots of friends who were "past neighbors". I guess I've been lucky; I've never had any "neighbors from he**" - but I've heard stories! And I count my blessings. Even though the new ones are "questionable" - at least they aren't psychotic.

So that's a good thing. Huh?

What I done good - CHBM Carnival

I hope you don't mind me doing a little different spin on the Carnival subject over at CHBM's today.

The listing on the side bar for June 13th was like this...

June 13th: "Something I made that I was REALLY proud of…"

June 13th: "Something I tried to make that didn't turn out quite right…"

Well! Bein's as how this week is Birthday central over at my casa, I can list you a couple of things I did right.

That is if you can put up with my braggin' for a second here!

I think I did this pretty well!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY GORGEOUS #2!!

Then 366 days later, I did this amazing thing...

Happy, Happy Birthday to my #3!

We've come through alot, ladies, and I am so proud to say I'm your mom!

Heaven knows I ain't the best in the world. But Heaven also knows I couldn't love you any more than I do.

Pray for MG and me tomorrow! We're taking a tribe to Giant Rat Pizza Company to celebrate. I'll be happy if we all come home with no broken bones or bloody noses. Don't tell MG I said that! He's nervous enough as it is...

Now as for the SECOND subject about things I've done that haven't worked out quite right? If I could post a copy of my marriage certificate from 1991, I would. But I can't...so I won't. It's all water under the bridge anyway.

Let's just look at the Happy Party side and call it good!

Home Away From Home - CHBM Carnival

Today's CHBM Carnival subject is

"The charitable cause that is dearest to my heart…"

Well, since I've already written about Safe Haven I'll make this post about my second favorite ~ Ronald McDonald House Charities!

Once, long ago in a world far, far away (OK, about 1998), a little girl was born.

Except you could hardly tell she was human. She was grey and her belly was so swollen she looked like a babydoll stuck to a cantalope. Yah, about that color, too.

Her heart stopped and then would go so fast you couldn't count the beats.

Her Mommy and Daddy were sad. And scared. And lost in this new world of "what do we do NOW?"

I once heard someone say that having a child with special needs is like planning for a trip to Sweden. You learn the language, Exchange your currency, book your flight, pack your bags. You're EXCITED! You are READY TO GO to this beautiful land that you have always wanted to visit.

So you get on the plane and you take a nap as the big bird rises into the air. You land at your destination and deplane...
only to find yourself in AFRICA!

WHOA NELLIE!! Wait a dern minute. This is NOT what I planned for or what I had in mind. But you are stuck. No getting out. No getting back on the plane. What now?

Ronald McDonald House was my Home away from Home for 15 days. They fed me, took phone messages, made sure I was safe, helped me arrange for care for my C-Section wound that had to be packed every day. They cared about me and what was going on with my baby. I made so many friends of other parents in the house. We would walk across the sky bridge together to visit our little ones in the NICU. The triplets, the little preemie up for adoption who's "new mommy" flew up from California to meet him and make arrangements, The boy in the next bed who was a dusky Blue color from a heart problem, the infant from Kenya who had inhaled meconium and now had pneumonia and the little ones so tiny their arms were thinner than a pencil. Heart breaking sister-and-brother hood of fear.

RMH was our sanctuary and all they asked was $15 a day. No kidding!

Yet when the day came to finally go home, I had no money. So they gave me time.

A month later, I still didn't have the $300 they asked.

So I wrote them and said, "Can I come clean rooms? Cook dinners? man the reception desk? How could I make this debt right?"

They wrote back "What Debt? It is forgiven. Don't worry about it anymore!"

OK, I'm tearing up just thinking about it. Hang on...gotta get a tissue!

So let me tell you what, whenever I go through a Mickey D's drive thru I dump ALL my change into the little box under the window. If I go inside, I empty my coin purse into the box on the counter. One year, I was able to call all my friends and family and say "here's what they did for me? Can you help?" I gathered $289.00!!
I figure the change I have dumped into the collection boxes over the years has equaled the other $11.00 due.

But I wish I could give more. I wish I could give them a big hug. I wish I could let them know how they made my burden lighter.

If you get a chance, friends, would you consider throwing your change in the box under the window, too? They helped me when I needed it so desperately. I don't know what I would have done without RMHC West House.

Sorry, gotta go get another tissue.

Red Neck Woman - CHBM Carnival

This weeks Carnival is about our music tastes.
It was hard for me to pick JUST ONE! I am a gospel singer so I adore that style; especially the 4 and 5 part harmonies.
I am a sucker for a great musical. I know all the words to every song in "The Sound Of Music" and "Fiddler on the Roof" by heart.
I like old country ~ Hank Sr, Ernest Tubb and those men who stood for everything good and decent.
Rockin' 80's stuff - Sting, Journey, AC/DC, ZZ Top - YAH! Crank it, BABY!!

But I guess if I had to list my "guilty pleasure" it would be Red Neck Woman music. You know like this one...

or this one!

I am SOOOO naughty! **WICKED GRIN**
But now you know.

LOADED question...CHBM Carnival

The Carnival question of the week over at the CHBM is...
"How did you met your spouse/partner?"

I know, when someone originally thought up this subject for the carnival, they were envisioning sweet stories of mushiness.

I wish I had some...

My first husband I met on the job. I worked with him my first summer out of high school at a private campground. He was a park ranger, I was a trailer cleaner. He was 38...I was ~ Ummmmm~ like 18. Almost.

He chased me like crazy till he finally wore me down.

My second husband was my roomie's brother. When I escaped...errr, divorced..husband #1, I moved in with 2 other girls. One of them had this brother that was 6 ft 5 and had Leeeeegs all the way up to there! WOW! Muscle definition, drool~drool. Our attraction was completely physical.

17 years later, here I am with one of the most wonderful men I have ever met. Yah, he ain't perfect. But no one has ever been kinder to me and my children; no one has ever shared with me as he has. If things ever go south with MG, I'm DONE. I won't even ever try again.

So where did I meet MG, you ask?

Yah. I knew you were going to ask.

Uhhhh....well...actually...

OK, OK! It was MySp*ce. I saw his profile while searching;

Right age group ~ check

Gainfully employed ~ check

Motorcycle in the photo ~ double check

Taller than me ~ check (ok, he lied on that one)

Exchange emails, go out for coffee, decide we are just gonna be friends. And 10 months later, we decided that no one else would do.

But Ya'll...if my mother calls? I met him in line at Wally World. Got it?

Spit, Coke and Duct Tape - CHBM Carnival

The Carnival for Today, May Sixteenth, Two Thousand and Seven is...

"Crazy hacks you have come up with -- unconventional uses for baby items or things you thought you'd never do as a parent but find yourself doing out of sheer desperation!"

Correct me if I'm wrong, but most of your situations in life when you are a parent of more than one child somehow involves unconventional uses for SOMETHING (even if it's your body parts).

Take SPIT, for example. I never dreamed I would be licking my thumb and wiping some foreign substance from my kids' face, arm or knee. I never dreamed I would use spit to enhance the connection and extend the life of batteries in childrens' toys (as in, licking the battery to see if you can squeeze one more amp out of it to keep the baby happy when you have no fresh batteries in the house and you need the baby swing to run for just 15 more minutes so you can take a short nap).

Or a diet Coke you just bought at 7-11. You're "running" through Wally World and the baby has a BLOW out. You KNOW what I mean. You leave everything and carry him out to the car at arm's length so you don't get any of it on you only to discover your hubby used up all the baby wipes and forgot to let you know (or, heaven forbid, refill the box himself). So you break out the MickeyD's napkins from the glovebox and strip the kid down. However, you can only clean of so much of that green glue-like substance with a dry napkin. So how to get it wet? YOU got it! Pop the top off that to-go cup and dip. It's cold and the kid screams, but it's better than getting pooh everywhere in your van.

The Diet Coke will also, if passed around about two times, temporarily fill up the kids' stomachs (it's the carbonation, you know) and buy you about 15 - 20 minutes to get home after that time-consuming clean up episode.

OK, don't do the "Ewwww! She let her kids drink pop after she used it to wipe the baby's BeHIND???? Call Children's Services! Call the Coast Guard!"

Take a chill-pill, okay? I didn't double-dip.

And don't forget that God-Given gift of Duct Tape. That silver wonder has hemmed pants, Held the seat of the pants closed until we could get home and attached the blankie to the side of the carseat after the baby threw it on the floor 43 times and I just COULDN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! She's just lucky I didn't duct-tape it directly to her arm!

Could be that another reason we were out of baby wipes is that I was using them to detail my dashboard while I was waiting to pick up the kids from school yesterday....Hmmmm.

Could be, but I'll never tell.

Thumbs under my 'spenders - CHBM Carnival

Carnival Day!

TOPIC OF THE WEEK...

"My proudest moment as a mother was when..."

OR

"My mother/grandmother's best piece of advice".

Of course, you know I'm picking the first one! But OH it's hard to decide on which "moment" is the best. I am proud of all my children. Everyday they do at least one thing that makes me say "I am SO glad to be your Mom!"

You all are probably tired of hearing about this subject...but my son did one of the bravest things any person ever has to do; report his father for a crime. When he came to my room that morning in June 2005, the look on his 11-year-old face was so pained.

"Mom, Dad did something bad."

When he was questioned later by the police, he said he knew to say something because of what he learned in Cub Scouts. They told him how brave he was; how he was a hero.

He didn't feel like a hero. Actually, he felt guilty.

It's taken a loooong time to convince him that what he did was right. And good. And that I was so proud of him, I was busting the buttons on my shirt. He saved us all. He just doesn't realize it yet.

I ain't perfect - CHBM Carnival

Seems the last few weeks I have been a day late and a dollar short when it comes to my meme's. If I actually have any readers, they've probably bailed on me by now. But that's ok. I write more for myself than for any other reason.

The carnival subject this week is "What I Wish I was taught growing up."

This may be kind of a serious subject, but the only thing I wish I had been taught growing up that wasn't included in my wonderful childhood is that
IT'S OK TO BE IMPERFECT.
I grew up in a family that was "perfect". Or at least they appeared that way. And I knew, deep in my heart, that I wasn't perfect. I wanted to do things I had been raised to understand were wrong. So therefore, I must be a bad person.
It took me lots of therapy to get over that. But that's basically my problem. What I want to make sure of...ABSOLUTELY sure of...is that I do NOT in any way pass this "legacy" on to my children. I tell them upfront when I make a mistake and I apologize. Yah, I goof up. Just like they will, but that doesn't mean they are bad. It just means they are human. And God loves me anyway.
And I love them anyway.
And that's how it should be, you know?

Dream Job ~ Carnival Day CHBM

Today is one of my FAVORITE days of the week...the Crazy Hip Blog Mama's Carnival!

The subject for this week is to talk about my "Dream job (OTHER than motherhood)".

AND The challenge comes in when you look at the LAST part of that phrase.

Because, friends, I have Always, always, always wanted to be a mother. Ever since I can remember, babies have been my passion. It took me four years and some nasty, unpronounceable tests to become pregnant with my first one. Each year on major holidays like Mother's Day and Christmas, I would cryyyyy because I had no little one to share it with.

Now I have four little blessings.

ON to the TOPIC AT HAND...

I have discovered by process of elimination that...

Being a dinner cook in a restaurant is NOT my dream job.

Washing dishes in a restaurant is not my dream job...in fact, it rates right down there just above dropping a bowling ball on my foot.

Packing fish is not my dream job.

Driving a semi truck cross country is not my dream job, but I DO like driving truck.

And I liked commercial fishing, but it's pretty much extinct anymore. Besides, I don't want to die...have you ever watched "Deadliest Catch?" Yah. I'd be the one that went overboard. Plus, I get seasick. It's not pretty.

Pumping RV grey- and black-water tanks is DEFINITELY not my dream job. If you don't know what grey and black water tanks are...I'm sorry, it's too yucky to describe.

Cleaning hotel rooms is not my dream job. Uh UH! I do enough cleaning as it is.

Even Reception and switchboard operations is not my dream job...even though it is pretty cushy.

I once thought I wanted to be a policewoman, a marine biologist and a pastry chef. Not all at once, you understand.

But now, I am actually realizing my dream and heading toward becoming a homebirth midwife. Right now, I can think of nothing I'd rather do with my life...

Besides being a mother, that is.

Smile - CHBM Carnival #27

Our carnival this week at CHBM's is "Favorite Beauty Secret/Product".

Friends, I am the LAST person to ask about beauty products. Mainly because I wash my face with Dove Pure and Natural when I shower and I only wear mascara, eye liner and blush for special occasions. And I mean REALLY special, like when a country farmer would wear his one-and-only black suit; we're talking weddings, funerals and job interviews only.

When I was a teenager, I used to wash with Noxema every morning. That stuff REALLY burns when you get it in your eyes. WOW!

So I guess I will have to say that my favorite...Uhhhh, my ONLY beauty secret is ~

A SMILE !
I know, it sounds corny. But I get so many compliments on just acting happy. I've had people say "you look like you've just got done smiling or you're just about to smile". You can make others feel better just by smiling at them.
Now, I must admit, I don't have the prettiest smile. 80% of my front teeth are composite fillings. But you don't have to grin all the time; just turn up the corners of your mouth. And I do have to warn you that a few extra wrinkles may show; those nasty old crow's feet may rear their ugly heads. But I've found that most people don't notice that...because they are looking at your eyes or your lips!!

Give it a shot. :D

Spring ROCKS! CHBM Carnival

Wow. It's Wednesday Carnival time already? Time flies when you're having fun, I guess.

Crazy Hip Blog Mamas' Carnival theme this week is ~

"I'm looking forward to spring because..."

• GREEN. In Oregon, the trees are budding and flowering. My lawn is sprouting like a forest and the glorious bush outside my back door is emitting a heavenly scent. Unfortunately, it's also attracting bees...Aaaaagh!
• Children can go OUTSIDE. Fifteen minutes of peace...until someone comes running in screeching "Mooooomm, she spit at me!" or "Mooooomm, #4 is peeing in the back yard!"
• BABY ANIMALS. They are SO great for distracting grumpy kids in the car. "Look, honey! a baby sheep!" "Over there, quick! It's a baby horse!" Yes, I know the babies have "proper" names, but if the KIDS don't know them, it don't count.
• I get to start college. Spring term is beginning and I won a little scholarship that will just about cover one class. I still have to get the instructor's permission, but I am SO excited! If you had told me when I was 16 or 17 that I would be THIS jazzed about SCHOOL, I would have laughed in your face!

Kind of a short post (for me :D) so I will take a minute to say that I hope you are having a wonderful week and I am so grateful you are my blogworld friend. God bless!!

Take away my Mommy License?

This week, our Carnival topic over at the Crazy Hip Blog Mamas is our good points and bad points in the parenting arena.

YIKES!

For the sake of brevity and to keep from going on and on about what a horrible parent I am (just ask my mother, she'll fill you in on what a wretched maternal specimen I am), I think I will just make two little lists.
Hmmmm, should I do the good first? or the bad? Let me think...

Let me start by saying that I am a totally different parent now than I was two years ago.
I used to be mean. No joke. And I hit my kids in anger. I said things to my children that should not be said to anyone. I'm not going to blame all this on my exhusband, but when I lived with him, I was not a nice person.
Oh, anyone passing by me on the street would think I was sweet; I had it all together, the proverbial All-American Soccer Mom. But that was as far from the truth as one could get.

Now I am patient; too lenient at times, maybe. I know MG definately thinks so. But I have chosen to pick my battles.
For instance, Is it imperative that #3 eat every bite of food on her plate to the point where it is a 4-hour battle of wills ending in me losing my temper and hitting her? NO!
Is it going to kill anyone if #2 insists upon wearing the same pair of pants to school three days in a row? Why am I worried about that? Because of what other parents will think of me if my daughter wears dirty pants?
Now that Exhusband isn't around to step on things left on the floor to cause him to scream, cuss and hit us, is it so important that the carpet be absolutely spotless?

So let's talk about now. Right now.
I am good at...

• Loving my kids. They know without a doubt that I love them always and forever.
• Mediation. Part of my nature is to do my best to resolve conflict, to try to come to a compromise between warring parties.
• Letting my kids say what they need to say. About a year ago, I discovered that this was one of my kids' biggest sources of frustration; that I would say my piece and send them to their room without hearing their side of the story. So I listen now. Most of the time, it doesn't change anything except their frustration level, but that's ok.
• Quality time. I don't get to spend alot of time with my babies and I also don't have alot of funds. So when we are together, we play cards, dice, Uno Attack, go swimming, go to the park, read a book, or watch a movie and have popcorn. It's the simple things in life that make your kids feel secure and loved. Just the other day, after swimming and ice cream, I decided to let them camp out in the living room and #3 (after settling onto her quilt on the carpet) looks up at me and says, "Mommy, this has been the best day of my life"!
• They can talk to me about anything. Maybe that comes with the territory of what we have been through (surviving sexual abuse) but my kids come talk to me if they are having relationship problems. I am honored, amazed and humbled that they think I am so "wise" that I can help them with their relationships. After all, I haven't done so hot with mine, ya' know?
• God holds a place of honor and respect in our house. We go to church when we can. We thank Him when He blesses us. I tell them about how God touches my heart and how He provides for us. They know how to pray and we do it every day together.

I am Bad at...

• Being selfish. I still struggle with the pity party. "I want time to myself"... "I just want to sleep, leave me alone".
• Following through on what I say I will do. #2 has been telling her group friends about this quilt I am making for her. I told her I would have it done Tuesday so she could take it and share it. And I didn't. I make charts to keep chores in line for everyone and they last about a week, if I'm lucky. I try to remember to have #2 read every night like she's supposed to, but about half the time I forget. I tell them they are "grounded for a week" and then two days later, I let them go to a friend's house. NOT on purpose...I just FORGET! Serious!
• When the kid says they are sick, sometimes it's easier to let them stay home from school than to fight with them. #1 did it to me today. How do I know he isn't nauseated? How CAN I know? Sometimes I just want to give up.
• Making my kids do things they don't like to do. It is SO hard for me. One reason none of my children ever say a dentist until last summer is partiallly because we didn't have dental insurance. But I must admit, it was partially because I didn't want to put them through that pain and fear; even if it was good for them. I get sick to my stomach when I drive them to the doctor for immunizations.
• Hugging them. I need to hug them more. Especially the older ones. It's easy to hug them and hold them and carress their hair when they are toddlers. But sometimes I sit and try to think of the last time I put my arm around #1 or held #3 on my lap. They really need that! And I'm slacking.

I could go on forever...but that's not the point of completing this meme. I think what CJ and Kel were thinking when they chose this topic was to open our eyes a little and give us a chance to reflect.

Or give us a chance to write something REALLY funny, either way. :D

My Fun - CHBM Carnival

The Crazy Hip Blog Mamas CARNIVAL subject this week is...
"Tell us about your favorite Hobby(ies)"!

It just so happens that this VERY same subject was my Thursday Thirteen last week! I'm serious! It was a total accident.
So you can read all about what I do for "FUN" HERE!

I think this is one of the shortest posts I've ever written.

Don't faint!!

Surprise Treasure Hunting - CHBM carnival #23

Wednesdays Carnival at Crazy Hip Blog Mamas was "Surprise" - we were to go to the blogroll and hit "random" then read and review the blog we found. Kinda like a treasure hunt!
And what I found at There is a Season was DEFINITELY hidden treasure! What a lovely woman!
She and I share a love of horses (she has 4!), a love of Christ (she has a great prayer list over on the left) and a love of children. Listening to her talk about how grateful she was to have her job even though things are tough there and reading about her pride in her children and her involvement in their lives made me smile. I enjoyed reading a meme (quiz) she did a couple of days ago...learned alot about her. Her middle name is LeAnn, by the way.
She really sounded like someone who would make a WONDERFUL friend. Go check out her gorgeous page and leave her a comment.
We ALL love comments, ya' know!

Highlighting a past post...CHBM Carnival #22

Our Crazy Hip Blog Mama's Carnival topic this week is "Pimp a post".

I'm sorry, but I just couldn't bring myself to put "Pimp" in the title of one of my blogs. I understand, you know, what it's all about...I guess I'm just weird that way. I'll probably get lots of unwanted Google search traffic just from putting it in the text here. But OH well.

ANYWAY, I couldn't think of just one I wanted to share...but I can think of a SUBJECT I want to share. So I've made a new post with links to two of my favorites!

And the subject is...TATTOOS. Mine, specifically.

I wrote this one back when I first started blogging.
Then, I got a new tattoo for my birthday in October. So I had to show it off.

I was kind of hesitant about sharing these...because they aren't exactly "family friendly" MAMA blog material. But they do fit the other THREE words - HIP, BLOG and DEFINITELY CRAZY! :D

Have a ROCKIN' week.

1970's TV - CHBM Carnival #22

Happy Wednesday, my Crazy Hip Blog Mama Friends and EveryBody Else!

Wednesdays are good...cuz they're my FRIDAYS. I'm lookin' forward to two days of R and R. In between laundry, taxi-ing kids around, volunteering at the school library, getting ready for a birthday party, cleaning the bathrooms, cooking dinner and defrosting the freezer...that is. :D

Today's Carnival subject is our "Favorite TV program when you were a kid".

OK, well, I can tell you what WASN'T my favorite program as a kid.

Lawrence Welk. My parents HAD to watch it. EVERY Saturday night. And heaven help us if we interrupted or asked to watch something else. NO WAY!

The Five O'clock channel 2 news. Because my dad was a commercial fisherman and his entire livelyhood revolved around the weather report. So...We didn't even BREATHE loudly during the news.

Now, I don't want to give you the impression that my parents were mean. They would NEVER hurt us for the world. But if you were noisy during Dear Mister Welk or The News, you got a look from my father that could drop you in your TRACKS and the volume on the television would suddenly elevate to two Thousand decibels. Either that or you ended up in your room for the rest of the night. Because you KNEW BETTER, Darn it!!

I remember a few shows that I used to watch. I adored Gentle Ben...I remember when the last show aired. I cried. Then I sat down and begged CBS to put it back on; I didn't CARE if they were reruns. I loved them all! What I didn't know was that they stopped filming new episodes in 1969, when I was about 3...so I was ALREADY watching reruns. Oh well! Did you know that "Mark" was Ron Howard's brother? I didn't either, till I tried to find this picture.

I enjoyed Starsky and Hutch and Emergency. John and Gage were my heroes!! I still remember two of my favorite episodes...the lady that was stuck in the girdle and couldn't breathe, then when they cut it off, it flew up and wrapped around Gages' head. And the kid who ate TWO loaves of bread dough BEFORE it rose and had to have an operation. I've never been able to eat bread dough!

You know, my mom would never let us watch the Flintstones because she said Fred was always trying to lie to Wilma. I was frustrated by it as a kid. All the OTHER kids were watching Flintstones. It wasn't FAIR. Now, as a parent, I can see her point. It was pretty dumb.
Guess she wasn't so far off after all.

Have a good week, Ya'll.

How can I pick just one? CHBM #21

Howdy, Crazy Hip Blog Mama Readers and friends!

Hope yer havin' an awesome week. Mine has been the same-ole-same-ole. If you don't count sick kids ~ which I don't. Cuz when you have four, someone is always sick. And if they aren't, they're faking it so they can get out of going to school.

Anyways...This weeks' Carnival topic is "Funniest Parenting Moment".

Ummm, "moment"? as in SINGULAR? Like, I, Uhhh, have to narrow it down to ONE?

I think that's pert near impossible.

Sorry.

Well, ok, not really. But here's SOME of my favorites...

#4 - this morning, playing with some dice she found. Overheard "Come-on BABY, Mama needs a new paira shoes!" The child must remember EVERYTHING she hears, I swear!

#4 again - after a long day...comes trudging out of her room wearing a t-shirt and undies.

"MOM, I'm tired! I want to go to bed! And...I HAVE A WEDGIE!"

As you'll be able to tell from this post, #4 is pretty much the comic relief around our house.

There's the Kowawa Poop story.
And the Biology Lesson.

Oooo, here's a good one. #1 (when he was about 4) had a hard time saying his "R's" as alot of little kids do. And we're driving down the road, singing along to the Little People Kid's Songs tape. And I realize, from the back seat, I'm hearing..."If you're happy and you know it CRAP your hands - Crap, Crap!"

He couldn't understand why mommy had to pull over because she was hyperventilating.

How about the time I was watching a friend's two little boys ~ the five little ones get into a package of pads, open ALL (yes ALL) of those little individual packages, peeled off the sticky strips and covered the entertainment center.

Now that I've got you rolling on the floor laughing, I'll share this one with you. I don't think I've blogged about it before. It's funny NOW...

Although it was definitely NOT funny when it happened.

**DISCLAIMER, I did NOT kill ANYONE. So that's a good thing.

I'm about 6 months pregnant and the oldest has a school program. So, because Exhubby NEVER goes to "these things", I figure I might as well leave the two little girls home with him.

Right.

Came home one hour later to find the biggest mess I have ever seen. In my life. Ever.

Visualize this...

Bottom layer - stuffed animals. About 20 of them. In a heap. Mostly WHITE.

Layer 2 - Trix Yogurt. I didn't know she knew how to open the refrigerator, much less peel open those little containers of yogurt. Several of them. Hot pink and electric yellow. High sugar content. Yep.

Layer 3 - Neosporin. Turns out she could climb to the fireplace mantle as well.

Layer 4 - Straw from Mommy's decorative scarecrow. Which is no longer decorative. Or a scarecrow. He's simply a pile of clothing and a hat. Mixed in..with the Neosporin and Yogurt.

Layer 5 - Laundry. That an hour ago was CLEAN.

Layer 6 - two small girls, ages 3 and 4. Just reveling...

If that dear ole exhubby would have been a paid babysitter, I would have fired his hiney on the spot. I noticed he did spend the rest of the evening out in the garage...

do you think he might have been HIDING? :D

Can't wait to read the other posts on this one. Should be a belly-laughin' good time. Come check it out!

The Best Valentine's Day EVER ~ CHBM #20

My kindred spirits, the Crazy Hip Blog Mamas are going to comment this week on their...
BEST VALENTINE'S DAY EVER !!

Let me tell you what...I WRACKED my brain.

Took about 2.5 seconds.

Not much brain there to file through, ya' know. :D

And, seriously, I can't remember any February 14th that has been that big of a deal. If you don't count the fact that last week (2/14/07) was the first time I've ever gotten flowers on Valentines' Day. AND a bear...and Candy! And four handmade cards from the kids. So that was pretty good.

But let me tell you about a February 23rd that rocked my world.

That day began like any other.
Who could have known I would meet a man that would make me fall so head-over-heels that I could never again go a day without thinking of him or holding him.
The room was hot and steamy; the smell of sweaty bodies hung in the air.
Romantic music wafted around us.
In the dimmed light, I looked into his eyes.
It was love at first sight; tears flowed and my heart melted as his hand caressed my cheek.
My mind reeled to feel his skin on mine, to breathe in the scent of him, to hold him against me and listen to him squalling in my ear.

WHAT???

Had you goin' there didn't I? Hee Hee...

My number one son was due on February 14th...but didn't choose to appear until February 23rd. Having tried for years to become pregnant, undergone infertility treatments and a rocky pregnancy and then have this gorgeous 9 lb blessing laid on my chest. I start singing to him and he got sooooo quiet. Those milky brown eyes blinked open and he just lay there staring up at me. It was a moment like no other as our eyes locked.

Don't get me wrong...I love my girls just as much as I love him. But he was my first.

My son. My unforgettable Valentine. Even if he was a few days late!