Had my final "final" today for Winter term. And it was the biggest, hairiest one of all. But I passed it...
And I'm getting an "A" in the class so far. Still have six weeks to go in the next term before I become a certified EMT Intermediate.
Got a cramp in my arm from hookin' my thumbs in my suspenders. **GRIN**
Still, I have this squeaky little voice in the background saying...
"you are gonna learn ALL this stuff...and then, when the time comes and you have to actually KNOW it, you're gonna forget it or mess up and somebody will get hurt! What do you think you're doing? You're just a fake!"
Performance anxiety, I guess.
But Squeaky has a point.
If I'm singing a concert or recording a CD and I go flat or hit the wrong note, what happens? Nuttin'! I look silly or I record over the rough spot.
If I slip and say a cuss word in front of my kids, what happens? Nuttin'! I apologize and use it as a learning experience.
If I spell something wrong in a blog post, what happens? Nuttin'! That's why God made SpellCheck and "Delete".
If I answer the phone wrong at the county office, what happens? Nuttin'! Except someone thinks they called Coastal City Hospital instead of the Big Y County Cleanup office.
And we giggle over the phone at eachother and life goes on.
What happens if I need to start an IV on a trauma patient and all the veins have collapsed from shock?
What happens if I miscalculate the dosage of Atropine or Nubain?
What happens if those little hills and valleys on the ECG monitor don't look like anything I've ever seen before?
What then? ALOT! And life may NOT go on!
Lord, please protect these unsuspecting people from my fumbling incompetence. You know I'm just trying to help; please let me be able to find those little filing drawers of information nestled among the cobwebs when I desperately need the information they contain.
And while Yer at it, could You make my knees stop knocking together. It's not very lady like. My kids think I'm doing the jitterbug.