Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Trying to pull myself out of a funk...

Confessions of an old delinquent. Sorry, but I am lonely and I don't have anyone else to talk to.

Have to go to court tomorrow. My third and fourth tickets.
Speeding a couple of months ago.
Seatbelt last month.
Expired tags and broken windshield this month.

What is wrong with me? I can't afford to pay these and still take care of my kids! Yet how can I ask anyone for help with them when these tickets were MY fault? My idiocy. The way I'm going, I'm going to lose my driver's license. Then what will I do? How will I take care of the kids or go to college or anything without a license?

Speaking of college...starting the fourth week of the term. It's almost half over and I've barely started. One class I still don't have books for! My financial aid hasn't come through yet. The load is crushing. I'm at the point where I just want to throw up my hands and give up.

Gonna lose my cell phone next week. The garbage won't get picked up tomorrow. The electricity is due next week. The TV has been disconnected. Car insurance is a pipe dream.

At least housing pays 100% of my rent. So we'll have a roof over our heads.

I TRY so hard to be positive, to believe that God will provide. I don't care about myself. But surely He will take care of my kids. I try to believe. But I'm still scared.

Yes, I've gotten myself into this mess. I'm sure I will survive. But it's not fun. And I never seem to learn. It just happens over and over again.
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Well, now that you have endured that morose diatribe...

I was outside for a few minutes and #4 comes out all huffy.
"MOM, #2 is being mean!"
"And what is new about that? every time I'm out of earshot, she starts picking on you guys."

"Well, THIS TIME, she has Just OutDONE herself!!"
Quite a sentence for a seven-year-old