Well, it's morning.
I skipped church this morning. Mainly because I can hardly move. When I stand up I get dizzy. And I have to gather all my energy just to GET up.
My iron levels must be in the toilet again. Too bad it's the weekend. Just gotta hang on till I can see a doc on Monday. Could also be the new medicine they have me on.
I think I may try to haul the kiddos to the park today. At least they could run and play for awhile while I sit and stare into space.
Being alone is the pits. It would be the ultimate joy to have someone to hold my hand, put their arm around my back. To lay my head on someone's shoulder and just close my eyes and rest seems like heaven on earth. Just to share the burden of the choices I must make and help me decide what to have for dinner when I feel like this would be a dream come true. There is such a longing and a drive for that companionship and that touch.
Number four and I were talking. She says "Mom, when is your birthday?"
"well, that would be October, you remember. Close to Halloween."
"Mom when is your anniversary?"
"I don't have an anniversary, Baby. I'm not married."
"WELL! We have to fix that! Hmmmm....
First we need to find you a boy.
Then we'll get you a pretty dress.
I think you should get married on March twelvth...how about that?"
"Sure, Baby. Sounds great."
Didn't tell her that unless God smacks me upside the head and says "YO, Dis is Da ONE!" that it probably won't happen in her lifetime.
But it was a sweet thought. :D
2 comments:
A dear friend of mine is struggling in a very similar place and her two daughters are trying to marry her off as well--meanwhile she struggles just to get by, and to maintain her right to keep her kids .
surprising yet touching what kids ask. When I went home due to my father's death 2 months ago, my little girl asked me where's our house (me, her father, and her) and I didn't know what to say... Her father visits her often but we broke up before she was born. I was a fool but I'm happy now because I have her.
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