Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Big Awwwww

Clinic day today.

Something about it heals my heart. Almost as much as going to the beach.
I get treated like a competent adult. It's nice.

Got to see the twins today. Born back in December. I would look up a link to the post and hook you up there, but I didn't write that much about it. And most people probably wouldn't go take the time to read it anyway.
Back to the point...they are eight months old. Boy and a Girl. Just SO precious. Sweet enough to put you into a sugar coma! Little boy rolled ALLL over the waiting room while we visited, just grinning and cooing. He had the smile of an angel. Little girl was more wary, but decided she liked me and fell asleep on my shoulder while I rocked her.

Then the mommy came in from the birth last week. He seemed so tiny. He's been fussy. And he smelled faintly of cigarette smoke. Poor tiny one. Just wanted to cuddle him forever.

So I definitely got my baby fix today. Which is good cuz I SURE ain't gonna have any more of my own. Hmmm, is that my heart shattering in the distance? No, can't be. Not much left of it intact anymore.

Went to the doctor on Monday. He did blood tests. Yah, I'm still a littlel on the anemic side, but not bad. He suggested it was stress...or the fact that I'm still healing...or the new meds I'm on. Which boils down to the fact that he just doesn't know why I'm wimpin' out and doesn't want me to freak out. Talked to a friend who thinks I just need to be patient and get some exercise. Patience, although not one of my strong suites, is probably the point. I want to know why I feel crappy and I want to know RIGHT NOW so we can FIX IT. Hellooooo..........

Is it my imagination or has my blog become less about my kids and more about me? And it's become extremely cynical. And sarcastic. Which is not me at all. AT least not the normal me.
Please forgive, ya'll. You know I love you and thank you for your prayers.

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