Thursday, September 20, 2007


I wish I could sleep.

Actually, I wish my kids would sleep.
And the cat...which is what woke me up originally. At about 2:45.
Alllllmost back to sleep then...
"MOM!" Right behind me. I think I screamed. Scared the stuffin' out of me.
And her.
Her TV had static and it woke her up.
Why do I have TV in their room? Well, right now, it's a good thing. BECAUSE two of the three girls are still awake. And it'll keep them occupied till they fall back to sleep. OH BOY are we all gonna be happy tomorrow. NOT!

I know, I know. What a cruddy mother!

I can't go back to sleep. It's 4:30am. I've been online for an hour applying for scholarships. WHY?

I'm boring you, aren't I?

Cuz I'm worried.
There's a verse somewhere in the Bible about how worrying won't add an inch to your height. Which, I think, means worrying doesn't change anything.
I'm going to wake up in the morning and still have no gas, no milk, no eggs, no flour and still be broke. I should look at the positive side.
I guess.
I've got sugar and butter. And enough bread for toast in the morning. And about 20 lb.s of hamburger in the freezer. And an apple tree out front. And canned green beans.
So that's good.

But does that stop me from worrying about it and regretting the fact that I bought them all Happy Meals two weeks ago and if I hadn't done that, I'd still have that money right now and I wouldn't be IN THIS SITUATION?

Ummmm, NOPE!

So I just want to know one thing.

How do I turn off my brain? I mean, other than by changing my gender.


Heather said...

Actually the Bible doesn't say that you "shouldn't" worry, it says you are NOT ALLOWED. Absolutely positively no worrying allowed. Now stop it. :)

Think of it this way--you have enough food for today. He will provide enough for the next. "Give us THIS DAY our DAILY bread." He doesn't always give us enough for tomorrow, or the next day, or next week. When He is teaching us to trust, to have faith in Him, the God of Creation and the Owner of the cattle of a thousand hills, He often lets us sweat it out--and it does build our faith. You will be so much more blessed by the way He provides when you are down to the last slice of bread than if He gave you next weeks provisions now.

He commands us to "Be still and know He is God" and to keep ourselves on righteous paths and He will pour out His blessings on us. He will and He already has done.

I wish I could show up at your door with several bags of groceries as others have done for me but I know He is in control and He will and has taken care of you.

Jessica Morris said...

I am excited to see a blog post about how God provided for you :) He always does, without fail!!

Hope things were a little brighter today...

Rebekah said...

I have had a couple of sleepless nights myself. Hope you get a better night sleep tonight

Donetta said...

It does say to cast all your cares upon HIM>
So... God here is the need I have I give this need over and cast (toss ) over the worry about it to you.
Nature arbors a vacuum.
So yes we are commanded not to fret.
But it tells us to renew our minds with the washing of the word. So the replacing of worry with the "make your request made known to him" apply s here.
When I as a child had only oatmeal and my siblings hunted the train tracks for coal(I am the last of 8 to a single, most of the tie mom) There were asparagus growing wild.

So what can you do ?
Do that.
apples (baked apples with sugar)
apple butter, apple juice
Look for other ingredients around the land. Ask for help, there is often a community program or church program. Do not be too proud to let other learn to give. For I know it is MUCH harder to learn to receive!
hunt for recipes using these ingredients and make up substitutions.
What are you missing ...Ask him for it.
Watch. You'll live amazed!
I hope this gives you sail.
BE embraced.
Repent over the happy meal error and go on. Just learn how to say NO to the kids. Learn how to make your own HAPPY meal :) I know this is not easy.

Donetta said...

Oh I see my post did not make it too you or perhaps there may have been a problem with it.
I just came by to tell you to come visit me. You are a star!