I decided to participate this week in the CWO In Other Words because I was so drawn by the quote Christine of Fruit In Seasonhad chosen.
"Until you settle the issue of your own worth, it's impossible to bring holiness into anyone else's life. Until you understand that your worth is already determined by the fact of your birth, everything else is an exercise in propping up a dying tree."
~ Carol Brazo ~
"No Ordinary Home"
I guess I've always known in the back of my mind that I had a poor self esteem. I didn't like myself much. Growing up, I learned that I WANTED to do things that were wrong. I LIKED to drink, smoke, dance with boys, wear pants and other things that were sinful. You know, because that was the way I was taught.
So I must, therefore, by logical deduction, be a "Bad person" for enjoying things that were evil. I was not worthy of God; I was not worthy of my church; I was not worthy of my Family Name.
I don't know if you have ever heard about Theophostic ministries. My counselor and I use this approach and I am always amazed. Just amazed. One of the earlier visits she and I had centered around my belief that I was unworthy and ended by my asking myself "The Question"...Was this the truth? Or a Lie?
As I sat in the silence on that couch with tears rolling down my cheeks, I could feel the weight rising from my chest and the crying turned to laughter. Because I could see that message as the lie it was.
Because I am worthy! Not in and of myself, but covered by the blood of Jesus, I AM WORTHY. I am worth it, I am important...if for no other reason than the fact that I am an adopted child of God. If I believe I am unworthy, what does that say about Him who CHOSE me!
He loves me! No matter what! No matter who comes and goes in my life; no matter what kind of rotten parent others think I am; no matter how hard the struggle to keep a roof over our head and keep food on the table. No matter what an ungrateful child I am sometimes when I pitch a fit for having to go through the "hard stuff" of life ~ HE LOVES ME.
Therefore, I have worth. I am worth the life of God's son. His son was killed for me.
How much more important can someone get?
I am honored. I am humbled. It has taken a long time to get to this point. But I must say Ms. Brazo is right. Propping up a dying tree is only postponing the inevitable. Yet with my worth in the eyes of my Heavenly Father, I am new every day.