Howdy! Hope your week is going well. Mine ain't too bad, really.
OK, enough with the pleasantries. On to the LIST...
THIRTEEN THINGS THAT DRIVE ME NUTSO!
(Betcha thought this was gonna be a sweet happy one with the deceiving little butterfly graphic in the header, huh? PSYCH!)
1. People who drive BELOW the posted speed limit. I know, it's a speed LIMIT; technically you aren't supposed to go OVER it. However, I tend to think of it as more of a speed "guideline". Kinda like those "Suggested Speed" signs for the corners.
2. Those who choose to put nasty decals in the back windows of their vehicles. YUK! How do explain some of that stuff to a 8 year old who says, "Wow, Mom! What is that dog doing in that picture on that 4wd Toyota pickup?"
3. Individuals who use foul language in public. I have a MAJOR issue with that "Eff" word. But most other ones are not appropriate either. Especially when my children are within earshot.
4. An attitude of disrespect for others and their property. I distinctly remember being appalled as I watched someone take a razorblade and slice a gorgeous photo out of a library book. AHHHHH! And having to chase teenagers OFF my exhusband's flatbed truck that was parked in front of our house. HELLLOOO! That is NOT your truck!! You have no right whatsoever to jump, run, skateboard, sit or even TOUCH that truck. GET DOWN RIGHT NOW!
Ooops. Pardon-a-moi. My Mommy-ness is showing.
5. People who just don't show up for work one day. "Well, decided I didn't want to work there anymore, so I just didn't go back." Do they realize what a hardship they place on the REST of us who continue to be responsible and not only HOLD down a job, but, if we DO chose to leave, give adequate notice? What a concept.
Ok, now I have to apologize for my sarcasm. Methinks I will have to do this several more times through the rest of this post.
6. When you need to get rid of something Super-Yucky, do it in a discreet fashion. No Chew in the water fountain, no blowing your nose WITHOUT using tissue, no picking and wiping on whatever you happen to be sitting on, no farting in public...I could go on and on, you know. But I think I've been sufficiently gross.
7. If I run into you in Wally World and we haven't seen eachother in more than a year, listen up - When I say "HEY! Long time, no see! Howaya?" All I want to hear for a response is "FINE, how about you?" If I haven't seen you in a year, I don't want to know all your health problems, all about your pregnant teenagers' deadbeat friends or how you feel about the President's position on the war in Iraq. I was just being polite, ok?
(Can you'all tell I am tired and cranky? Hmmm? Ya' think?)
8. Those "Here's Your Sign" people. I don't know if you have ever seen Bill Engvall, comedian extraordinaire, but just like Jeff Foxworthy's "You Might be a Redneck if...", Bill does the "Here's Your Sign" routine for people who continually state the OBVIOUS and you just wanna smack them on the forehead to get their brains in gear.
You stop at the minimart for a soda all dressed up after burying a good friend and the clerk says "SO! Going to a funeral?"
You pull up to the pumps at the local rip-off...errr..gas station and the attendant comes over and says "You need some gas?" Uhhh, NO! I just wanted to park here, whatdeya think? DUH!
You run in the door at work SOAKING wet, your hair a mere shadow of the gloriousness it was 20 minutes ago after you spent all that time fixing it and the security guy says "HEY! Is it raining out there?" No, I always come to work like this. Aaaaaah!
9. People who have graduated from college and STILL can't spell. What did they teach you there, huh? Party Attending 101? And then there's that little button at the top of the screen with the ABC and the check mark? That means SPELL check. But I guess if you don't know the correct spelling to select from the listed options, that won't do you any good anyway, huh?
10. Older toothless gentleman with barely any hair who think you are looking at them because you WANT THEIR Bodi*es! Ewww! I was looking at your funny cap with the bullet hole in the brim that says "My lucky gun cleanin' hat". I do not, nor have I EVER been that desperate.
I'm sorry for being rude here. If I've offended you, please accept my humblest apologies and CLICK AWAY NOW! Cuz it's only gonna get worse.
11. Anyone who tells me I am uneducated for having "blind faith"...that I should question God and constantly STRIVE and SEARCH for truth. I'm sorry, but God and I are friends. I may ask Him why He sends me down a certain path, but He doesn't have to answer. I love Him anyway and He knows what's best for me. He has never given me any reason to NOT trust His plan for my life. He has never let me down, hurt my children, called me names, stolen from me, cheated on me, or lied to me like alot of mortals I know.
12. I have been volunteering in a library. School kids come in and sit while the librarian tell them about a foreign country. Yah, it's a school library. Yah, they HAVE to be there. But NO, they do not have to be rude. I have just been shelving books and watch these kids (usually boys) just talk and talk loudly while the poor librarian is trying to share with the others; she tries to make it interesting, she tries her hardest to get them to pay attention. I lost it last week and asked the group of children to have some RESPECT for her. She cares about them! And they have no regard for her at all. Those kids' parents would be mortified if they saw how their children were treating my librarian friend.
13. Those who complain ALL the time! Nothing positive EVER escapes their lips. Especially coworkers you are trapped with for several hours at a time with this condition. Father in Heaven, PLEASE deliver me!
UhOh...wait a minute!! Didn't I just spend the last 30 minutes whining? Does that mean I drive MYSELF nutso?
Forget it. My brain hurts. :D Sorry for the rant. But I do feel MUCH better. Thanks for listening.
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