I heard this song many moons ago...probably about 20 years to be exact. I've done Google Searches and Yahoo searches trying to find the complete lyrics.
Serious, I had them one time. Used to play the song on my guitar. But now, I can't find it and I'd LOVE to do this one with my kids this year now that they're old enough to appreciate the humor.
I really didn't make this one up. It's an old country song. I can't even remember who sang it. And I emailed our local radio station that does Christmas music from Thanksgiving to New Years and they didn't know it either. SO....
I'll give you the verses I know and maybe someone can help me. As far as I can remember, the chorus changes a little each time.
Sing to the tune of "Jingle Bells"...(big surprise! :P)
I have an old tom cat; Santa is his name.
I keep him nice and fat, but he hates me just the same.
He got at me today with those needles in his paws.
Now I'm a'wearin' bandages on account of ... SANTA'S Claws!
Jangle Bells, Jangle Bells, Jangle all the way.
We don't know all the words but we'll sing it anyway.
Jangle Bells, Jangle Bells, Ringing loud and Gay.
We'll be hearin' Jangle bells from now till Christmas Day.
Slidin' down a hill on an old ramshackle sled.
Laughin' fit to kill at something someone said.
Forgot to watch the road; not watchin' where we went.
Ran into a barbed wire fence and got our Christmas Spirits "skint".
Jangle Bells, Jangle Bells, like the wise man said;
Be careful where you slide or you'll spend Christmas day in bed.
Slippin' down the street on an old banana peel.
Could not stay on my feet; They were slicker than an eel.
My feet flew in the air; I let out a yell.
Landed on my pocket book and I broke my "Jangle Bell".
OK, OK, now that your ROLLING on the floor...
That's all I can remember. Can somebody help me out?
If not, that's alright. At least maybe you got a laugh out of the search.