Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Ripples in my pond

Howdy, friends! Saw this graphic the other day and it got me to thinking. If I'm interpreting it correctly, what Chief Seattle was trying to say is that what we do effects others, no matter how hard we try not to let that happen; whether or not we MEAN for it to happen.

Have had some issues with that philosophy this week. Same stalker I mentioned in a previous post has reared her ugly head again. Seems she is fixated on me...for some unknown reason. Truly, I ain't all that interesting. No money, no blackmail opportunities here. Don't know WHAT is going on in this person's pea brain.
Apparently, she fancies herself a crusader on the path of justice and feels she needs to warn everyone about me. YES, folks, I am vewwwy vewwy dangewous!!
She has gathered information about me from innocent quizzes I did with friends on MySpace. I deleted them about a month ago and made my profile private...but she's been saving the info. My full name, where I live, where I work, where my guy works...I mean she is REALLY obsessed. Well, she decided yesterday she needed to harass friends of mine and tell them what a "Type A Bi***" I am. HOOOOWEEE! Neither one of them were impressed, let me tell you!

OK, mess with me, that's fine. Whatever. But mess with my kids, family or friends and WE'VE GOT A PROBLEM. Just because I was careless and naive, my friends have to deal with someone bothering them. This chick must REALLY be bored. In fact, I told her as much. In fact, I told her to GET A LIFE and BUTT OUT of mine!! They don't deserve her harassment in the least. I don't either, for that matter.

Life is like that...drop a little pebble in the pond of your day and the ripples get bigger and higher as they roll out.

For instance, this morning! I get home from workin' in the WEE hours of the morning and then get up at 7 to get the kids off to school. In case I haven't mentioned it before, I HATE MORNINGS and that's putting it mildly. I need low lighting, soft voices and coffee!
ANYWAY, middle wild child decides to argue with middle loud child about Toaster Pastries. 6:15 am!! Great Gobs Of Goose Grease...PLEASE let me sleep!! I've only got 45 more minutes. Waaaah!

But not to be! 10 minutes later...middle loud child knocking on the bedroom door after much running and yelling about the house. Middle wild child is trying to fart on her. Yes, FART! No, that isn't a typo.
GOOD GRIEF. Think I'm going to give up on sleep. But I'll lay here...just a couple more minutes.

HOLY COW! 3 minutes before my alarm goes off...here they come. "Mom, it's time to get up". Well, My Friends, I'm afraid I wasn't very nice or very quiet when I ordered them OUT!

So that started the ripples in my morning pond. Missing shoes, forgotten backpacks, inappropriate dress...I was in full war cry by the time I got them out to the car...and then found them drawing pictures with their fingers in the dew and dirt on the windows. Aaargh!

Don't think I've EVER been so happy to kick out...errr, I mean drop off my children at school.

And I kinda felt cranky for the rest of the day. But I think my ripples flattened out about 3pm. So I feel better now.

But because of the rough morning, I was cranky with my guy, cranky with my other kids...and it wasn't their fault. They just got caught in the crossfire. Now I can be sorry all I want, even try very hard not to let it happen again. But it is nigh unto impossible to change one's attitude; and even if you succeed in suppressing your feelings, others can still tell something is wrong. It affects everyone in my life. My actions effect others whether I like it or not.

No matter what I do, I cannot please everyone. I can only do the best I can do. But I really don't like it when others are inconvenienced, bothered or upset because of me.
Which reminds me of a song written by a friend of mine...the chorus goes "When all you can do is all you can do, then all you can do is enough." Means as long as you have done your best; done all you can do, then you need to "let it go". Cut it loose and give it to God. Some things are just beyond our human power.

So am I weird to ask God to not let me be a pebble in someone's pond? To protect others from things I do that cause ripples in this life? I didn't mean to be mean. I didn't mean to divulge too much information. I never meant to torque anyone out of shape. But just because we don't mean to, doesn't mean it doesn't happen unfortunately.

"So, Father, please protect them from my stupidity. And please make this nutcase disappear back into the woodwork. And PLEASE help me to have a better attitude tomorrow...no matter when I have to get up! Amen"

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