Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Ramblings of a Comatose Mother

WOW, am I tired today! Worked late last night and got home about 2:45am. Juuuust falling asleep and a small person touches me on the shoulder..."Mom, there are bugs in my bed!" Oh, brother.

So I go look and nope, no bugs, but I do notice (by the smell) that her sheets should probably be changed soon. Turn in my "Mommy License" for the umpteenth time. Arrgh!

Go back to bed. Juuuusst get warm and guess what?..."Mommy, I can't sleep! And there are still bugs in my bed." Ummmm, where do I go to resign this Mommy Job, anyway?!?

Into her room again...and I look up at the ceiling. There's a mosquito or two that snuck in during the daylight hours so I smoosh them into stains on the white ceiling, turn on the TV (told you I need to relinquish my Mommy License) and say "PLEEEAAASE, please let Mommy get some sleep?!?" Sounds alot like begging, doesn't it?

Well, that's because it was!

So got to finally sleep around 4. Baby girl comes banging on the bedroom door at 6:45. Apparently, big sis is picking on her. I say slowly and as distinctly as I can while hissing through my gritted teeth, "GO OUT NOW!" My alarm was set to go off at 7am anyway. Still, when you're getting squat for sleep, 15 minutes looks like ALOT!

Did manage to grab a nap for about 20 minutes this afternoon. Have NO stinking idea how I'm gonna stay awake till the end of my shift.

Went to the Dr. today and got a scrip for this "Great, New" medication to help me quit smoking. He says it's only been out for like a month. I'll get it filled tomorrow and hopefully, within 3 weeks I won't be needing to light up to relax.
That'll be nice. Everyone will quit nagging me (as in "Mommy, you're going to DIIIIIIEEEE!") And cheaper, too.

Gonna take MG ocean fishing tomorrow. I hope he doesn't get seasick. Mainly because my Dad (who is taking us) doesn't return to the shore if you are puking. If he goes out fishing, he goes out for at least 3 hours. NO MATTER WHAT! Plus, I want MG to have fun. He's so excited; he's like a little boy! "getta go fishin'!! Getta go fishin'!"

And I want him to be happy. I really do. His happiness is very important to me. I wish I could make the way smooth always for my kids and for him and for everyone I love in my life.

That's one of the realities that I have a hard time dealing with. The fact that I cannot, CANNOT, no matter how hard I try make everyone happy all the time. I can't always "FIX" what's wrong or shelter my loved ones from the harshness of life.
And I just hate that! I really do! And I think it would bug me alot more than it does...if I didn't have such a great God. When I've done all I can do, then all I can do is enough and God has control of the rest. YESSSSS! Very cool!

1 comment:

jen said...

stumbled on to your blog and glad i did...it's tough, those moments where we realize how little control we have over just about anything...and not getting enough sleep doesn't help. you are doing a terrific job.