I miss my blog...
Really! I do!
with no Internet at home, writing has become a luxury.
OK, I guess I COULD write them off-line then publish them, huh?
If I had a brain...
which I do, but unfortunately, due to menopause and resulting insomnia, said brain has refused to cooperate with me most days.
OK, every day.
This past week, my life has done a 180 and I'm facing a whole new future.
Had to take a leave of absence from midwifery.
I know, it sucks. But after excitedly awaiting the completion of my practical experience and the promise of a partnership to follow my licensure, I was deemed to have "gaps in my knowledge" and instructed to study more before attempting to sit for the written NARM exam.
I couldn't face another year of existing below poverty level...for my children and for myself.
So I got a job...
Yep! a 8 - 430, Monday thru Friday, honest-to-goodness J-O-B. It's only seasonal, but one never knows...and it will help dig us out of a hole. Dispatching trucks delivering potting soil.
It could be fun, really. It involves two of my favorite things...trucks and talking. Just sayin'....
Also, I got married this week.
He's sweet, kids love him, 10 years younger than I (I think that classifies me as a cougar), and he can cook!
He's also disabled and has hepatitis C.
Catch your breath...**PANT PANT**
It's not that bad, really. He will have to undergo a year of interferon treatments soon, but for right now...we just have to be very careful with anything "wet and not ours" as they say in EMT class.
Now, for tribe updates...
#1 has now graduated from high school and will start college Spring term.
...For what profession, you ask? excellent question! He doesn't know, actually. I think God is calling him to the ministry...we shall see if he heeds that call.
#2 has played musical schools but is now back in Chaotic Charter School. Diagnosed with ADHD, PTSD, anxiety, tachycardia and an amazing abiding faith in God, she can be awesome or horrible depending on the hour of day. She will be 15 in June and, folks, the idea of her DRIVING with her attention span is enough to make me completely gray-haired.
#3 is also attending Chaotic Charter School. Declared disabled with Aspergers, anxiety and depression, she has a boyfriend that I cannot stand yet tolerate so I can keep a constant vigil on them. They are amazingly physically demonstrative for their age and I'm thinking of calling the whole thing off. At 13, she should not have to worry about him "cheating on her" or have someone clinging to her for complete emotional stability.
Which is probably why I now sit in a hospital emergency room with her. Waiting for an adolescent psych bed to become available in the nearby big city. Battling the creatures that grab at her and tell her to kill herself. The spiders, snakes and foxes are fairly easy to deal with, but the black creatures are formidable opponents as I challenge them for my daughter's sanity.
#4 goes to the Small Town Public School and is in 5th grade. Diagnosed with Aspergers, anxiety, depression and Sensory Integration Disorder. Looking forward to outdoor school. Which I have volunteered to go to...
Before I got this job, that is.
Before her sister mentally snapped, that is.
Turn in my Mommy License again!!
Wait...I don't have one...
So here I sit... "Lean not onto your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths."
I'm trying, God, I'm trying...