To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice! (ok, I've DONE this, but only as a test. You know...NO SERIOUSLY, I really was! Stop laughing!)
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that. !
4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, ! Switch to Espresso.
5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Mar*ju*na". (ok, maybe not!)
6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get. (only ONE problem with this one. All my extra skin flaps. NOT a pretty sight and it sounds funny, too!)
7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
8. Specify That Your Drive-thru Order Is 'To Go'.
9. Sing Along At The Opera.
10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache. (except don't do it to me. I'd cry)
11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!' (Me? I'd scream "It's a MIRACLE!")
12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'(wouldn't do this one either...but it kinda makes you giggle to think about it.)
Now to TOTALLY destroy your positive image of me...