Kid funnies

Number three says "Mom, what are hazelnuts?"

"just a type of nut, honey. They grow on trees".
"So were are the hazelnut tree seeds?
"ummm, I think the hazelnut IS the seed!"

"Wow! Can I eat the nut and leave the 'hazel'?"

No, sweety...I think they are pretty much stuck together.

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"Mom, remember those crayons I got at the restaurant last night?"

"Yes." hear the apprehension in the mother's voice...

"Well...I'm making them naked."

Crayon wrappers all over the floor of the van...yah.

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"Mom, so do you like Butterflies?"

"They are pretty enough, but they are STILL BUGS..so I'm not real crazy about them."

Hands on hips, huff and an eye roll for effect.

"Good Grief, Mother! Butterflies are the most UNHARMLESS bugs there are!"

I'm serious. That's what she said!

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OK...if you are sensitive...don't read this one. Just keep in mind it comes from a 15 year old boy.

He can always tell when I am blue or stressed so he asks me if I'm sad.
And I tell him that I am just so, so tired and trying to concentrate.
So his words of wisdom?

"Mom, just remember it takes 44 muscles to frown and only four muscles to put up your middle finger and say "Bite Me!"

I'm sorry. I tried to be serious and scold him...it just wouldn't work!
The nice men in the white jackets will be coming to take away my mommy license any minute now.