Tuesday, March 17, 2009

It's just been one of those days...

Woke up this morning and realized I only had one kid out of the four that was even partially fit to attend school.

So she got a day off.

(will surrender my "Mommy License" voluntarily for that one)

Called the EMS director to reschedule the eight-hour ER clinical I was supposed to do tomorrow. Mainly because I didn't know how today was going to turn out.
Number two was up most of the night with a tooth ache. Ended up being able to take her to the dentist today (an hour away, in the Great Big City) and they pulled it. She feels better now. Especially because the "tooth fairy that is really mom" will leave her a dollar.

Number four has been sick since Sunday. Running between 102 and 104 degree temp. Everyone freaks out about this...except me. I know better. No biggy...I get it to go back down with Tylenol. No seizure activity, nothing else out of the ordinary...just a virus runnin' it's course. SIGH. So one of my parental units and several friends think I should have surrendered my Mommy License Sunday afternoon.
But little pooh is better today. So that's good. Cuz I REALLY would have hated to have to take her to the Great Big City dentist's office with me. Ummm, she's extra whiney when she doesn't feel good.
She's whiney ANYWAY NORMALLY, but sickness means EXTRA whiney.
OK, I may not get my Mommy license back for awhile for that comment.

Number one has been battling a bad cold. He's a male of the species, so you know how this is going to go. Every 30 minutes, on the dot..."Mom, I don't feel good!"..."WOW, I really feel crappy."..."Man, my throat hurts". on...and on...and on...
He gets pneumonia on a regular basis. So I'm gonna take him tomorrow for a check now that the cold has moved down into his lungs. Just to be on the safe side. He doesn't want to go. WHY? Because they always make a big deal about his weight.
I know how he feels.

Number three escaped most of this. But now tonight as I put her to bed, she starts coughing. She's the REALLY LOUD kid. Everything she does or says is at top volume. Which is why I was hoping beyond hope that she might STAY healthy. Guess that's not in the plan. SIGH again.

And then Loverboy called to say his Dad was in the hospital. Now, Papa has cancer. Second time around, metastasized cancer. He's six foot and weighs less than 120 at last count. And he has COPD...has home oxygen. And I love him to death.
Anyway, this morning his hand was swelled and they discovered a clot in his brachial vein (upper arm) about 12 inches long. YIKES. Admitted him. Gave him more morphine than he has already been taking. Plugged in the clot-buster drugs that originate from Rat poison. Don't know how long he will be in there.

Six hours away from my home. Or 4 and a half, if I'm driving and the traffic is light.
I know...don't say it.

The problem is, it's driving me nutso. I don't like hospitals. To me they are a necessary evil. Please pardon me if you work in a hospital or are a nurse or a doctor or if you just plain adore hospitals, but every experience I have had with them? Scary. I don't leave people I love alone in the hospital.
You push the button to go potty and sometimes no one comes. And you really REALLY have to go. It's not the nurses fault. They only have ten patients to care for ALL BY THEMSELVES.
You say, HEY, I need some pain meds. I need a drink. I can't get out of this dern bed to get it myself...I NEED YOU TO HELP ME. and the reality is, no one has time.
One time, I watched my mother make a puddle on the floor because I tried to make her wait for the nurse so we could measure her output. How humiliated she was. It broke my heart.
They forgot my aunts' insulin...bout sent her into a coma.
I was in for three days one time and was not bathed, offered a toothbrush or even a washcloth for my face. Not once. The last day they let me walk where ever I wanted...including wings of the hospital that were closed off. What if I went down or had a problem? They never would have known where I was! They didn't give me a softener...YOU know what I mean! and it took me almost a WEEK to do my business. Was almost as bad as having a baby!

So you can understand why I am so frustrated. I CAN'T go. I have sick kids. I have a final on Thursday. I just want to kick a wall and SCREAM.
Which is when I should leave it up to God. He knows how Papa is. He knows how frightened I am that Papa will suffer. So why can't I just give it to my Heavenly Father? I don't know. Human, I guess.
SIGH again.

So many things to worry about, so little time. HALF SMILE

Haven't heard from State Police yet. I will let you know when I am scheduled to interview...so you can Pray, Pray, Pray. Not that I get it, per se...but that God works it out so I am going down the path HE wants for my kids and me.

I feel better now. Thanks for listening.

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