Monday, January 12, 2009

you buy your coffee...WHERE?

I thought I lived in the smallest town in America.

OK...not quite the SMALLEST...but awful dern close!

That's why it seemed a little odd that this just struck me so funny I laughed until I had to lean against the beverage case in the little multi-roomed, dust-encrusted general store.

Was over visiting my darling sweet amazing handsome LB a couple of weeks ago.
**Whispers - Sowwies, I get carried away. Tee Hee**

We took advantage of his dad home working on a puzzle to run to the local Itty Bitty Country Town Market for soda for the kids and somethin' fer dinner. And..of course...bein' the big city gal that I am, I NEEEEDEEDD a Latte'! Seriously. Badly. But figured, Hey, it is just an Itty Bitty Country Town. So I'll grab a refrigerated-in-a-bottle Starcow SuperCaffiene Mocha with Happy Vitamins and call it good.

As I surreptitiously start lookin' around, LB says "Hunny, Whatcha lookin for?"
I batted my eyelashes and said "civilized coffee, my luv". Although he couldn't understand me very well through gritted teeth and the facial tic that was threatening to become a full body seizure soon if I didn't get some Coffee with a CAPITAL "C".
He drawls "Ya mean, like the drive-thru fancy stuff?... Well, we got that here 'bouts!"
Saliva starts to flow and a wild look glazes my eyes as I screech "REEALLLY?!? But, but, I didn't see one on the drive in!"

Wait for it...this is hilarious.

at least to me...

humor me, here...

He says, "Course not! You wouldn't see it out by the highway. It's in the Hardware store next to the LIQUOR counter."

Then he had to stand there like a gentleman while I giggled, guffawed and staggered around the little grocery store until I caught my breath. Goodness! Look at that RUDE city slicker!
After all, where else would you expect to find a Barista who can sell Jack Daniels? Behind the counter ringing up the hammer sale and throwin in a pound o' nails fer free, of course! Silly me!

Ummm, but she actually did make excellent coffee. I had a 24 oz sugar free toffee Latte' with FOUR SHOTS...yes, four shots, my friends! Add whipped cream, an insulating sleeve and TWO chocolate covered coffee beans and you have one HAPPY mama!

I was very tempted to duck into the insurance agents office to see if I could get a manicure or pop over to the gas station for a home cooked meal and a haircut, but I was running short of time.


Donetta said...

Man your making me wonder what city now.

Heather said...

Snort! Giggle. That is really something (especially reading it here where we have "State Stores" --the only place you can legally buy liquor. :)