Friday, December 12, 2008

Decisions, Decisions

LIfe has a way of getting complicated sometimes, doesn't it?
For a lady who detests making decisions, I shore nuff have gotten myself into a position where I need to make a ton of them.

Most of them have to do with my future with Loverboy. He lives clear across the state AND owns a home over there. So how can I expect him to walk away from that and come rent with me in my little trashy double wide?
Yet how can I ask my kids to leave everything they have ever known from the town they were born in and move across the state where our nearest relative would be three hours away?

Which actually might be a good thing. Considering my parents have decided the will not accept Loverboy into our family. They say they have had enough of my relationships and they don't even want to meet him. He isn't welcome. So I have to choose between spending holidays with the man I love or spending holidays with my family.

I hope ya'll know I'm just talking here...trying to get things straight in my head. If you want to keep reading, cool. If you want to venture an opinion, I am definitely open for guidance! If you would be kind enough to pray for me that I make the right decisions according to God's will for my family, I would SO appreciate that!

Option A - Staying here in Podunk...
Pros - I will continue college, continue with my midwifery apprenticeship, continue volunteering with the Podunk Rescue, pass my physical agility and become a reserve with the Podunk PD, Kids will be where they are familiar and comfortable.
Cons - Far away from LB's Dad who is very ill. LB will have to find a new job, LB loses his home equity and all his friends.

Option B - Moving to SEP (Smaller Eastern Podunk)...
Pros - own a home, be with LB, Be near LB's dad when he needs us, LB keeps his good job. New town to explore, new territory to learn from.
Cons - kids must Change schools, I would have to change my major as there is no Paramedic course at the local college there, OR I would have to go get a job. Find a new Midwife that would be willing to take me on as an assistant, find new doctors, dentists, etc. Basically, start all over again. For the third or fourth time...

When you look at the choices and weigh the pros and cons, the choice LOOKS simple, yet there is one thing to factor in.
The simple fact that WE LOVE LOVERBOY and want to be with him.

I also need some prayer for my health. The hernia that showed up under my surgical wound from April? Well, it's getting bigger. By the day. And the insurance won't pay for it unless it's an emergency. So I'm working on a couple different options to get around that; meanwhile, my guts just WILL NOT stay where they are supposed to. It's uncomfortable, embarrassing and makes me nervous that something will go wrong and I will end up IN THE E.R.! I wanted to get this repaired while I was on Winter break from college so I could be ready for the 15 credit hours of college classes I am signed up for starting January 5! Each day that passes makes that less and less likely. Makes me wish I had a credit card So I could Charge it, get it fixed and pay it off over time.Oh well, probably good that I don't. But I need God to work this one out quickly.

Well, think I may go take a nap as I keep nodding off here at the computer. Too much stress, not enough sleep and probably just a touch of depression.
...oh kay, a little more than a touch. :D

Thank you guys for listening. BIG HUGSp

1 comment:

Heather said...

No advice, praying God's will.