Saturday, June 21, 2008

Goals, plans, hopes... in other word, what's happened to Janean?

When I saw a category listing above a blog posting that said "goals, plans, hopes" I had to choose it. Mainly because I no longer have any.

I am so tired I just don't give a crap.

I'm tired of fighting against life and I'm tired of encouraging everyone and tired of starting over. If I manage to raise my kids to be reasonably normal adults, it will only be by the grace of God.

I no longer want to do anything.
I no longer want to be anything.
I no longer want to shower or get out of bed.
I no longer care if I ever love anyone again.
I don't care if I sing.
I don't care if I do laundry or if my house looks like a hurricane hit it.

I don't care. I just don't care.

And that is NOT ME.
God, please let the "happy pills" kick in soon.

1 comment:

Donetta said...

Big hug...
Can so relate. At times life is a big pain in the .....
Well It is also a joy. Times that cause us to forget that are flooding us over well it still does not change the truth that this too will pass.
hang on
hang on
hang on.
Big hug Loving you D