Sunday, May 04, 2008

The Chihuahua Plan

She's been on a campaign. Not for the presidency...though, at 6, I think she's smart enough to do as good a job as most of the candidates in line for 2008.

Take that however you want.

ANYWAY, She has a plan. She outlined it to me the other day at the restaurant. Here's a map to the pound, Mom. Here's how you get home, Mom.

This is what we need, Mom.
Dog food.
Dog bed.
Cat crate. (don't know why we need a CAT crate for a DOG...but that's what she said. I swear.)
We even discussed WHERE to buy the cat crate and decided on Wally World. Decent selection, lowest price, ya' know.

Maybe a collar.
A sweater.
A leash.
I want a chihuahua, Mom!!

When can we have a chihuahua, Mom!?!

A chihuahua could come with us to the store, Mom.

So we are playing "heads or tails" in the car with a quarter she found. "Guess, Mom! Heads or tails?"
"Heads" (just for the record, I always say heads. It's a 50/50 chance anyway)
"It's tails, Mom! You lose!"
Pretending to wail in agony..."WAAaaaaah!"
"It's ok, Mom! Let's try again."
You can almost hear the wheels grinding in that little brain under that brown wavy hair.
"Mom, YOU WON!"
"Mom, You won AGAIN!"
I'm starting to suspect something is going on...but I can't prove it because she's behind me in the minivan.
"MOM, you won THREE times!"

Long pause...

"NOW can I have a chihuahua?"

Little monster. Conniving. Cuter than a bug's ear.
I wanna run to the nearest pet store and blow my life's savings on a dog.
Then there was that news story about the lady arrested for animal abuse and the Em county deputies seized 150 chihuahuas.
I kid you not.

This had better not be a sign from God.
Cuz I'm not a dog person. Don't care for them much. Unfortunately, they seem to like me.

Please don't hate me because I don't like dogs. They are just too needy.
Almost like another child. What's it doing? is it hungry? what's it getting into? Does it need to go potty? On my bed when I'm trying to sleep. Whining in the middle of the night.
Besides, Tinkerbell and Oreo (the resident cougar descendants) would consider a small chihuahua as PREY. They are rather rat-like, sorta.

We'll have to see how this plays out. This morning we are driving to church and she says "Mom, we need to make a list for the plan." Dumb Mommy...I say "What plan?"

"The Chihuahua Plan....DUH!?!"

Oh my.

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