Monday, January 21, 2008

The Biggest Mess EVER - CHBM Contest

It's been awhile since I've had a chance to sit down and check out the Crazy Hip Blog Mamas. But I went over there today and GUESS WHAT!?!?

They are having a drawing! For an ORECK XL vacuum cleaner!
I used to use one of these things many moon ago when I was a motel maid and they ROCK! I've always wanted one so thought I would throw my hat in the ring.
The deal need to write about the biggest mess you ever had to clean up, link to CHBM's and to Oreck's site.

I thought I'd already written about this horror, but when I searched my blogs, I couldn't find any posts with the words "yogurt" or "hay" or "triple antibiotic".

Got your curiosity up now, don't I?

Picture this in your mind...I'm 7 months pregnant with a 3 year old, a 4 year old and an 8 year old.
The eight year old has a program. So I ask the husband-type-person (HTP) if he will watch the two little ones for an hour while I take the boy to his school presentation. Cuz' chasin' them lil' girls around the grade school gym in my condition does not appear under "FUN" in the dictionary, ya' know.

And he agrees.
So I go.
And then I come home.

And then I stand in the dining room and SCREAM. Bloody murder.
Whereupon he comes out of his shop in the garage and says "I was watching them, I swear!! I was only out there for about five minutes!!"

I know he is lying because there is no way two teeny girls could have made such a huge mess in five minutes...or fifteen minutes...or 30 minutes, for that matter.

The huge horrific drift is in layers in the middle of the light grey living room carpet. I will, for your enjoyment, list these layers from bottom to top. It's kind of like a giant ice-cream sundae...only one I have to CLEAN UP around a huge pregnant belly.
And I'm really happy about that, you know.

Bottom layer - six VERY LARGE stuffed toys (3-4 feet tall) that had to be hauled down a flight of stairs from their bedroom. Three of which are white. This will be important here in a minute.

Second layer - some miscellaneous clothing out of the dirty clothes hamper.

Third layer - Hay from a decorative scarecrow I kept in the entry. Yep, he's empty now.

Fourth layer - the entire contents of a tube of triple antibiotic ointment. And apparently that wasn't enough goo, because the fifth layer is...



They had to get those out of the fridge, figure out how to open them and ended up squeezing the contents out through a hole in the foil top. As evidenced by the squished plastic containers garnishing the top of the pile like Marachino cherries.

Through gritted teeth, I just told everyone to "GO AWAY, PLEASE".

HTP took the little girls up to their room, then went to his room to watch TV. He probably figured he was safer if he wasn't on the same FLOOR of the house that I was.

The yogurt never did come out of the stuffed animals, but I did manage to get it out of the carpet.


Donetta said...

Wow what a mess! I think I would of made htp clean it up!

Qtpies7 said...

Oh, livid would not begin to describe it. However, he is beyond that, and doesn't care still, after 18 years of parenting little ones. He is smarter now and gets the big ones in charge of the little ones and he still does what he's always done... NOT watch them.
But you know, I don't wathch them all that great sometimes, so I don't know why I expect him to watch them perfectly.