Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Spit, Coke and Duct Tape - CHBM Carnival

The Carnival for Today, May Sixteenth, Two Thousand and Seven is...

"Crazy hacks you have come up with -- unconventional uses for baby items or things you thought you'd never do as a parent but find yourself doing out of sheer desperation!"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but most of your situations in life when you are a parent of more than one child somehow involves unconventional uses for SOMETHING (even if it's your body parts).
Take SPIT, for example. I never dreamed I would be licking my thumb and wiping some foreign substance from my kids' face, arm or knee. I never dreamed I would use spit to enhance the connection and extend the life of batteries in childrens' toys (as in, licking the battery to see if you can squeeze one more amp out of it to keep the baby happy when you have no fresh batteries in the house and you need the baby swing to run for just 15 more minutes so you can take a short nap).
Or a diet Coke you just bought at 7-11. You're "running" through Wally World and the baby has a BLOW out. You KNOW what I mean. You leave everything and carry him out to the car at arm's length so you don't get any of it on you only to discover your hubby used up all the baby wipes and forgot to let you know (or, heaven forbid, refill the box himself). So you break out the MickeyD's napkins from the glovebox and strip the kid down. However, you can only clean of so much of that green glue-like substance with a dry napkin. So how to get it wet? YOU got it! Pop the top off that to-go cup and dip. It's cold and the kid screams, but it's better than getting pooh everywhere in your van.
The Diet Coke will also, if passed around about two times, temporarily fill up the kids' stomachs (it's the carbonation, you know) and buy you about 15 - 20 minutes to get home after that time-consuming clean up episode.
OK, don't do the "Ewwww! She let her kids drink pop after she used it to wipe the baby's BeHIND???? Call Children's Services! Call the Coast Guard!"
Take a chill-pill, okay? I didn't double-dip.
And don't forget that God-Given gift of Duct Tape. That silver wonder has hemmed pants, Held the seat of the pants closed until we could get home and attached the blankie to the side of the carseat after the baby threw it on the floor 43 times and I just COULDN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! She's just lucky I didn't duct-tape it directly to her arm!
Could be that another reason we were out of baby wipes is that I was using them to detail my dashboard while I was waiting to pick up the kids from school yesterday....Hmmmm.
Could be, but I'll never tell.


Mama Zen said...

The Diet Coke story is priceless! Love this post!

Madame M. said...

Heeheeehee. I won't ever look at Diet Coke the same way again. ;o)

Aaron & Alaine said...

I was convinced that no one could possibly post anything I haven't done. And then...I find you. Coke will never be the same in my eyes, and I'm lol at the thought of it. I would surely have had one less smile in my day if I had not stopped by.

Great post.