Monday, April 09, 2007

Do I deserve to go to Heaven?

It's an AWESOME CONTEST over at the Crazy Hip Blog Mama's website. You can win some great stuff from the All Moms Go To Heaven store.

Ahhhh, but there's a catch. You have to WRITE something.

AND there's a SECOND has to be FUNNY.


So here we go, ladies and germs.
My top ten reasons why
  1. If you can change a poopie diaper that has gone up the back and down the legs without chucking up your cookies, YOU DESERVE TO GO TO HEAVEN.
  2. If you can endure being asked "Why, Mom?" three-hundred-sixty-three times in one day AND come up with an answer EACH time, YOU DESERVE TO GO TO HEAVEN.
  3. If you can survive spring break without running down the street tearing your hair out screaming like a mad woman, YOU DESERVE TO GO TO HEAVEN.
  4. If you don't blush eight shades of red when you hear the question "Mom, where do babies come from?", YOU DESERVE TO GO TO HEAVEN.
  5. If your "Mommy-Radar" comes on when things are TOO quiet and you catch the kid before he hits the floor, YOU DESERVE TO GO TO HEAVEN.
  6. If you can open the bathroom door and discover your child covered in your makeup without screaming bloody-murder...and eventually see the upside of the situation (You can go buy new makeup!), YOU DESERVE TO GO TO HEAVEN.
  7. If you can survive waking up every two hours around the clock for at least four months without putting the offending "little alarm" clock up for adoption, YOU DESERVE TO GO TO HEAVEN.
  8. If you can endure the bodily-fluids marathon (wipe a snotty nose, get puked on and change a poopy hiney all in one day), YOU DESERVE TO GO TO HEAVEN.
  9. If you have ever wondered WHY you signed up for this job in the first place at 5pm then wondered how you could ever live without him at 9pm as you watch him sleep, YOU DESERVE TO GO TO HEAVEN.
  10. And the top reason why MOMs deserve to go to heaven...for all the times you saved the child's life...or at the least, chose not to kill him.

Ah, well, it may not be all that humorous. And I may not even be eligible because I write for CHBM's weekly (even though it is volunteer) ~ but you know what? it was fun writing it anyway.

1 comment:

Jenn said...

Very funny. Good reasons. Cute stuff....