Here is a list of things I know enough about to know that I don't know enough. Which means I know just enough to sound halfway intelligent in a conversation and just enough to get myself into trouble sometimes. You'll see what I mean...
1. Auto Mechanics - I know how to check/fill vital fluids. I can jumpstart the battery and converse halfway coherently about starters, alternators, radiators and such. I just don't know where they are located in the car. :D
2. Marine Biology - I was going to major in this in college and have always had a love for all things oceanic. I can impress my kids with my knowledge of plankton, oceanic zoology, sea mammals and identify about 100 different kinds of fish. But I'm occasionally wrong...and it's embarrassing when they "catch" me. As in...
ME - "Oh, LOOK! A Great White Shark!"
TV ANNOUNCER - "And this White Tipped Shark has been known to attack man..."
KIDS - "MOM WAS WRONG! MOM WAS WRONG!"
3. Computer hardware - I installed my own new CD burner and have given serious thought to adding a couple of sticks of RAM. Now if I could just get that CD burner to actually BURN A CD! Aaaargh!
4. HTML - I know just enough to do the layout on my blog. And not enough to keep from deleting important things I REALLY do not want to delete. Aaaaargh again!!
5. Culinary arts - I can do Baked Alaska and I can follow a recipe with reasonably good results. But I don't do fancy-schmancy things like Hollandaise Sauce or Braising anything. And I don't know all my spices and when to use them in what.
6. Child care - I've raised four of them fairly well so far. But I'll be the first one to tell you how I've messed up REALLY badly a few times. Even though I am a state-licensed Foster care provider, I am always running across a situation with my kids that makes me want to turn in my "mommy license".
7. Anatomy and Physiology - My favorite subject in high school! I used to be able to draw a diagram of the human inner ear freehand from memory and name every bone in the human body. I know the meaning of the words "distal" and "proximal"...but I also know enough to know when something is really wrong. One of my pet peeves is when the doctors/nurses treat me like I'm ignorant. I may be wrong, that's true. After all, I don't have a medical degree or letters after my name. But they should at least LISTEN to my opinion; even if just out of common courtesy, you know.
OK, I'll get down off my soapbox now.
8. Emergency medicine/First Aid - I know CPR and how to deal with blood, vomit and mangled humans. I tend to remain calm in crisis and generally just have a common sense about when to CALL THE DOCTOR or CALL AN AMBULANCE. Unfortunately, people tend to put their trust in me because of this trait and sometimes the thought hits me that I may not say the right thing or do the right thing someday...YIKES.
Like one time, a friend called me late in the evening. His six-week-old baby had been crying for hours. I told him to take the baby's temp and we discovered it was 102. Now that may not seem like much for an older child or adult, but for a newborn...Umm, Yah! REALLY BAD THING! So I told him to take the baby to the nearest ER right NOW. Do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars. Baby ended up spending 3 days in the hospital for a massive infection. But I just kept thinking, "Oh CRAP. What if..." And then I say "Thank you, God! I didn't do the wrong thing!"
9. Commercial Dory fishing - I grew up with these words as part of my daily life: Bottom Fish, Flasher, Whoochie, Cannon Ball, Deep and Float Lines, ODF and W, Quotas, Fillet, Chinook and Silver Salmon. I was a puller for my dad on his boat for several years and worked for the fish buyer in the packing plant for three years. I ain't much of a sport fisherman though.
10. Sewing - I can patch clothes halfway decently and put together a quilt fairly well. I also sewed my satin bride's maids dresses. Scared the dickens out of me to put out $100 for cream and red satin and then CUT it. HOLY COW! What if I made a mistake?? But I didn't. However, I can't do fancy stuff like "alterations" or pants with flys.
11. Clothes/Shoes - I know enough to know what I don't like, what I wish I could wear, what I shouldn't wear for the sake of modesty, and what I can't afford to wear. But when it comes to what looks good on other people? I always think "OH! That shirt will look SO good on #1!" So I get all excited, buy it, take it home, and he hates it. Blech!
12. Gardening - I can prepare the ground, throw some seeds in fairly straight rows. But as to what should go next to which, what needs "direct sun" or "partial shade" (or WHAT THE BLOODY DIFFERENCE IS!), what should be fertilized and how to weed properly...Ack. I it just blows my brain. Especially the weeding part. I can't do it. **Just a funny here...one time many moon ago, my sister got hooked for MIP alcohol. She got home about 3 am. My dad got her up with the sun at 5am and drug her out to their HUGE garden. Her punishment was to weed 6 rows. On her hands and knees. Retching. I'd like to say she never did it again, but...well....**
13. You knew this one was coming - MEN!! I know enough to know how to keep them happy in general. Basically, there are four components. Good food, Clean clothes, TV/Computer access and regular Sex. However, when it comes to communication, I JUST DON'T GET IT!! But I keep trying.
Have a rockin' week, Ya'll!!
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