Sunday, October 22, 2006

How is it supposed to be?

Hope you all are having a great day so far...even if you are like me and have just gotten up and gotten your coffee. Although I'm at work, I haven't fully awakened yet. I'm on autopilot until about 9 or 10.

I was reading Faith Lifts this morning and clicked on one of the older posts entitled "It's not supposed to be like this!" ooooWOW! Hit me right between the eyes. I think, mainly, because I sometimes have issues with how others view my parenting style.

Last night, I was trying to get the older three ready for a sleepover. I'd been working on it off and on for an hour when, all of a sudden, MG pops up and makes this loud announcement that they'd better all be ready to go!
OK...he was just trying to help. He'd been watching a movie and didn't realize I'd been getting them ready. But what I heard was something like this...

"You suck at parenting and I don't think you can handle getting three kids ready to go in time so I'm taking over."

Needless to say, the ca-ca hit the fan, folks, and the rest of the night went downhill from there. It was supposed to be fun. He was taking me out to a nice restaurant for my birthday. We still ended up going out, but it wasn't the same.

One thing he said really hit me. I told him that whenever he talks to them, he sounds mean...kinda gruff...and that I'd like him to try to be nicer. He says "Sometimes, you're meaner than I am."


He's right. Sometimes I am not nice to my kids. I would never even THINK of talking to another adult the way I talk to them sometimes. But you know what, I am SO much better now than I used to be. When my ex and I were together, I had to keep them quiet and in-line for fear that they might do something to piss him off. So as a result, I rode their butts like nobodies business and yelled alot.
After he was gone, I realized how much more peaceful and relaxed it was. And I liked it. So I tried to keep it that way and kinda swung some the other way, letting the kids do pretty much anything as long as no one got hurt.

You think YOUR house is a mess. During that year, I had a Habitrail house.
You know what I'm talking about...trails through the piles.

I think right now I'm coming back to center and balancing out. Got some stuff under control but still taking things a little easier and trying to enjoy the small "ohWOW" things when I can.

But it seems I still have my moments. And God used MG to pop it up in my face.
Another "turn in my Mommy license" moment narrowly averted. I love those kids more than life. I need to remember that instead of getting exhausted and stressed and treating them like an irritant instead of like the precious jewels they are.

If you've got a second, click on the link at the top and read MaryBeths' post. And maybe some of the other ones, if you have time. Each one has something important to say and you never know when God is going to whisper in your ear...

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