Saturday, August 05, 2006
Warrior on a White Horse
Picture this...Desperation! Sick feeling in the pit of my stomach - "What am I going to do?" How am I going to survive this one, Lord? Haven't I had enough to stress over the last few months? I knew the peace couldn't last long. It feels like my security is gone. Something I have depended on for the last 4 months is now quickly leaking away and I have to find a replacement FAST. Except I CAN'T. There is nothing...no resources...everything is booked up, at the wrong times, won't take my insurance. I'm running out of time and I just feel like curling up on my bed and crying...
BUT WAIT, what's that...over there? Shield glinting in the sun, spear raised over his head, white horse with mane and tail whipping in the breeze....
MY HERO !!
If you know me, you know that I have a hard time depending on others. I always feel like I have to do things myself...have to get MYSELF out of the messes I'm in. But this time....
This time, I choose to let him rescue me. This time, I surrender. I am scared to death to care again, terrified to depend on someone so much that, should they choose to leave, the pain would be indescribable. But the truth is...I don't know what I could do without him! How can I survive without him?
I don't have to worry about that right now. I can relax...sobbing with relief. I am safe in my warrior's arms...he's here now. I am safe...I am safe... THANK you, God, for this precious gift. Please, give him the strength and wisdom he needs; give me the grace and humility to be what he needs me to be. I SO want to do it right this time, Heavenly Father! Please, Please, Please don't let me screw this up.
It feels so wonderful to be safe! The joy that wells up inside me when he whispers "My love..."; The peace that comes from knowing he is always "on my team"; Being in love with your best friend is a MOST awesome thing.
credit for the photo/sculpture to www.aspencountry.com Liberty Bronze Collection