Wednesday, September 26, 2007

EMT Basic Thursday Thirteen

I know, I know...ANOTHER Thursday Thirteen already?
Two weeks in a ROW? WOW!
Next thing you know, I will actually be back to submitting Kids' Corner Saturdays over at Crazy Hip Blog Mamas. I've been slackin', ya' know.
Made it to and through my first EMT Basic (Emergency Medical Technician Level Basic) class last night.
Found out what is required. Sort of...

It was hard to pay attention surrounded by all those 20-year old hotties.

Sorry, I'm only human!

Then I found out WHY they decided to congregate around me. They needed a mother. I helped them fill out their forms because they were texting on their cell phones and not listening to the instructor when he explained which parts to complete. Discovered several of them have flunked the written State Certification test at least once. One red headed kid has flunked THREE TIMES.

Holy cow!

I think I'll sit in a different spot next class.

At least there were several older people in this class. And about 20% are women. OK...ummm, well....girls. That could be my daughters. Argh.

ANYWAY, on to the Thirteen...


and, according to the instructor, these are NOT optional.

I have to have them by next Tuesday.

1) Stylin' blue shirt....

2) Black pants. They don't HAVE to be EMT pants with all the cool little pockets, but we'll see...3) Then, of course, you have to have a belt to hold UP the black pants.

4) And the black shoes to go with the black pants.

5) The logical progression would mean black SOCKS. Cuz I don't wanna look like a geek, ya'll. Which I will anyway. Cuz you have to TUCK in the Shirt...AND I just happen to have this HUGE belly flap left over from weighing 400+ lb.s. What am I gonna do with THAT? Roll it up? Maybe number 14 should be a GIRDLE!

6) Gotta have the school patch. OK, this one actually IS optional.

7) and the STATE patch.8) Books...Which I have, thank goodness! Well, most of them anyway.

9) Criminal background check.

10) Oregon / National Practical testing fee...

11) National registry WRITTEN testing fee.

12) Current CPR card (they give us that class the first Saturday in October, so I'll be okay with that. My old one just expired on the 15th of this month.)


the THIRTEENTH THING an EMT student needs...

13) S H O T S !

better known as immunizations. Not like I'm not USED to shots. Heck, I give myself a huge B12 shot with a 3 1/2 inch needle once a month. But do I enjoy them?

No way, MAN! I'll probably at LEAST need a tetanus booster. Heaven only knows what else. I'm sure they'll let me know!

And all this so my homebirth clients will feel confident in my skills as a midwife. Sheesh!


Kathy said...

Better you than me! Dealin' with hurt & sick people, well, makes me sick! Sorry :(
Good luck w/ those classes.
Name ideas: Willamette Jan, Rantin' Jan, or Janz Rantz

DoubleDeckerBusGuy said...

Ya had me up until the shots!

Terri said...

This is one job I know for sure I wouldn't be cut out for, but I sure do appreciate people like you who are willing to do it.

Damozel said...

That's going to be cool, though. (Love the stylin' blue shirt, heh). But: 400+ pounds? Are you joking? Wow, that must have been some transition for you.

Nicholas said...

Interesting list, thanks for sharing.

Donetta said...

"stick it to ya!" By I can sure appreciate the shot thing. A flu shot might also be in order.
That roll is a reminder of all you have lost maybe some day you can donate the skin :) Wouldn't it be great if it were that easy? I know it must be a challenge. Maybe an undergarment would help you feel better about your appearance. I think you look beautiful !