Monday, April 16, 2007

Good person?? P.S. 14 REALLY late!

I decided to copy this week's chapter from Bible Gateway's site. I read several translations there and (don't know WHY) latched on to the Contemporary English Version. For some reason, it just made sense to me. Something "clicked. So here it is...

1 Only a fool would say, "There is no God!" People like that are worthless; they are heartless and cruel and never do right.
2 From heaven the LORD looks down to see if anyone is wise enough to search for him.
3 But all of them are corrupt; no one does right.
4 Won't you evil people learn? You refuse to pray, and you gobble down the LORD's people.
5 But you will be frightened, because God is on the side of every good person.
6 You may spoil the plans of the poor, but the LORD protects them.
7 I long for someone from Zion to come and save Israel! Our LORD, when you bless your people again, Jacob's family will be glad, and Israel will celebrate.

I'd like to talk about verse 5. Just the last part..."God is on the side of every good person". And if you are looking for me to be reassuring this week, skip on to the next blog. Because the reason this one got me to thinking is that I have questions.

Because, basically, I am NOT a good person. Give me less than half a chance and I am skipping down the road to ruin. My insides are dark and if it weren't for the twinkle of Jesus/Holy Spirit in my heart, there would be no redemption for me.
I put up a good front, I guess. From reading my blog, you would think that I was basically good with just a dash of wild.

The truth is that I'm basically bad and by the grace of God, I'm saved from myself.

I talk about God and how I only want to do what HE wants me to. Then just today, I did something so terrible I can't even believe it. My heart is broken over what I have done and there is no redemption except through Christ. It is so hard not to beat myself up with this and I have no idea how I can make it right by the world's standards. But I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am not good.

Will He still guide me? If I repent, I believe He will.
Have I broken His heart? Yes
Will He still Love me? Yes. Always. No matter what I do. And, Yes, I believe He is on my side. Am I saying the Bible is wrong? No. I'm saying that I am ONLY considered "good" because of the blood of Jesus Christ covering me ENTIRELY.

Because I am FAR from worthy.
And that is the UNDERSTATEMENT of the century right there!

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