tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31928341.post116334611960853544..comments2023-03-25T06:10:10.637-07:00Comments on Unlicensed Mommy: My life as a liar...Janeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07665737969086029492noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31928341.post-59277715263869830222006-11-19T11:51:00.000-08:002006-11-19T11:51:00.000-08:00Hi Janean,
Thanks for your comment on my blog :) ...Hi Janean,<br />Thanks for your comment on my blog :) Antique mommy's post was the one that got me in my bloggy blah mood. Part of it was her response in email to me, and part of it was how other people who responded. It's more or less my own problem, but I still don't see lying to kids funny. However I must clarify - I have told my kids "Because I said so." That's not lying to them necessarily. There are times when they have to accept a parent's authority and that's just that. And I've also given them information on a need to know basis - we could use the "where do babies come from question" but I'll use a different one. When my husband was arrested, my youngest son was 4. For a couple days, he asked "is Daddy out of town again?" and I said "you might say that" because I wasn't sure what I should tell him. When I spoke to a counselor, she said to absolutely tell him the truth. Ok. So the next time he asked, I said "no, Daddy's in jail." Of course the why's started. "Because he hurt your sister and sometimes when adults hurt kids, they have to go to jail." That was good enough for that moment. Months later, when he was ready, he asked "well, how did he hurt her?" I said "He touched her in a way that adults aren't supposed to touch children." Good enough. A few months later, "Well, how did he touch her?" "He touched her private parts." OHHHHH. When he was ready for the information, he asked. I didn't offer it to him before that. That's not the same thing as lying. One doesn't have to explain in great detail to a 3 year old where babies come from in order to be honest with them. <br /><br />In the spirit of your example from Corrie Ten Boom, You don't have to give them the whole suitcase, just let them carry a pair of sox from it and not only does it satisfy them, but it also makes them feel trusted.<br /><br />We don't do Santa or the easter bunny because I'd rather celebrate what those days really are. We still have fun special holidays.<br /><br />I was one of those weird kids who was terribly upset when I found out about Santa. I felt like I'd been lied to, betrayed and deceived. I felt like I'd been a fool of. Even if I didn't believe the way I do, I'd have a hard time with the whole Santa thing. I don't think less of anybody who does perpetuate the Santa story, and I don't necessarily consider that on the same level with lying to a child just because you don't feel like telling them the truth.<br /><br />I can remember being 4 years old, on the verge of reading and asking my mom what the little piece of paper on in the hershey's kisses said. She said "it says "be quiet Connie."" And she kept insisting and wouldn't tell me what it said. If she just would have told me what it said, I would have shut up! <br /> <br />I'm not saying I NEVER lie to my kids, but I do my very best to avoid it when I can.<br /><br />Anyway, thanks again for visiting my blog, and the kind things you said. I'm nobody's hero though, just doing what a I gotta do to make it through, ya know? :) I'll be back!Conniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10452366197853755449noreply@blogger.com